P.S. I hate you! (lesbian story)

Regrets

After drinking the tea they returned to Isabelle's room. Elisa noticed that Isabelle's mom was nowhere to be seen. 

"Isabelle where is your mom?" she asked tentatively. She learned over the course of time that Isabelle's parents were a touchy subject.

"Oh mother is probably in her office...working." Isabelle said, bitterness easily recognizable in her words.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Elisa asked carefully, settling herself on the edge of Isabelle's bed.

"About what?" 

"Whatever you want, your parents or Brigitte...?" Elisa trailed off her question hanging in the air. She was walking on thin ice here, but  she wanted to help Isabelle somehow. She wanted her to know she was her friend, and that she can trust her.

Isabelle sighed sitting on the bed next to Elisa, "I don't know what to say..."

"It's fine, we can talk when you feel like it. I just want you to know that you can trust me." Elisa said her last words barely above the whisper. Not giving Isabelle the time to react she pulled her in a hug, inhaling her fresh scent. Isabelle wrapped her hands around Elisa's waist, resting her head on Elisa's shoulder. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes, listening to their soft breathing, and feeling the steady thumps of each other's hearts. 

"Am I a bad person Elisa?" the brunette suddenly asked breaking the silence, her voice muffled and insecure. Elisa squeezed her gently and then released her, causing the brunette to look into her comforting brown eyes. 

"Look Is, I won't lie to you..." Elisa started, looking in the enchanting green eyes. "I don't think you are a bad person, but somewhere along the way, you were so insistent to make people believe you are that you started believing it yourself, and acting like it. If you asked me this question before all of this started..." Elisa waved her hand around them, "I would have probably said yes, but now that I'm getting to know you..." she lowered her voice, cupping Isabelle's face, "I understand somewhat why you behave the way you do."

Isabelle dropped her head, looking at her lap. After a moment of engulfing silence, she raised her eyes back, which were pooling with tears. "I never appreciated her Elisa..." she said quietly, her voice wavering. "She was always there for me, she was more than a...a servant, she was a friend, and more of a parent than my own parents were, and I never had any nice word for her. I took her for granted Elisa...and now...now she is gone. Just like that, she is gone, and I can never tell her how much she meant to me..." Isabelle choked, her tears streaming freely down her face. 

Elisa didn't know what to say. There were no words of consolation. Everything she might or could say would probably sound like a pathetic attempt, a corny phrase of empathy that would bring no real comfort to her. Instead Elisa kissed her tears away, and embraced her offering her comfort by just by being there for her.

***

Despite waking up with grief in her chest, Isabelle had to admit she felt slightly more at ease just by the sensation of a warm body pressed against her back. She couldn't fight off a smile of relief and the feeling of comfort that Elisa's presence brought her. Looking at the clock, Isabelle realized it was time to get up and get ready for school. Even though she wanted nothing more than to stay laying here in this cloud of warmth and security, she knew that new day has come, and that she had to pick up her pieces and carry on. 

What is done, it's done. I hope Brig will forgive me wherever she is now... Isabelle thought sadly. Removing the comforter, she glanced back at the sleeping form beside her. Her heart filled with warmth looking at Elisa. She brushed the hair from her face, leaning in to kiss her cheek.