TWO WORLDS || Hansol Vernon Chwe

Eight

Everyone says that everything works out in the end, and although that may be true what really isn't is the idea that they give you that you have no right to be upset in the meantime. They plant this stupid thought in your mind that you can't be sad or angry about the problem, that you can't take any actions because it all works out in the end. That's bullshit. To fix things you have to take actions, to take actions you have to have feelings, you have to feel something powerful enough to will you to do something about the problem.

But although I believe all of that and I'm saying it myself, I somehow can't feel anything. My chest feels numb and my mind is blank. I'm functioning properly enough to will myself to eat and go dance at the studio but I can't taste the food and my moves are robotic. Everyone's noticed but based on their faces I can tell they're all afraid to question me. Except Dino of course who trapped me inside the mini studio room where seungkwan was conveniently sitting in three days after the incident.

"Noona you've been comatose for the past three days. What's wrong with you?" He whispered, his face crazily close to mine. I shook my head and smiled.

"Nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same, that's all you have to know." I told him with a small smile, it was a sad one but all I could muster.

"Cut the dramatic crap and tell us what's going on. You're making everybody depressed." Seungkwan snapped as he swiveled around in his chair. He hadn't questioned me after my meeting with got7 at their dorm but I knew he was dying to bombard me.

"I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm bringing you all down, let's just go dance yeah. But put happy music it'll help." I stood up without another word so that they didn't have time to pull me back. I hadn't rehearsed with Hansol since that first day but I wanted to get it done with, knowing that the guys shocked faces would definitely bring me back to life.

   "I don't even know what they said to you in there but I just want to apologize on their behalf just in case." Seungcheol bowed down and I shook my head, resting my hand on his shoulder to bring him back up.

   "Don't worry about it, they made me feel better. Let's just dance, yeah?" He nodded quickly and snapped his fingers at Woozi who was standing by the speaker system. He tapped his fingers into the phone and loud pop music began playing. Everyone stood up and cheered clearly fond of the song which to me just sounded like techno. Nonetheless I grabbed Hansols hands and bounced up and down with him, ignoring the beat and dancing crazily.

   The cheers of the boys and the volume of the music allowed me to drown out the scary thoughts going on. I knew deep down I wasn't just afraid of loosing Mark but also of loosing everyone. If I could mess up with Mark so easily I was sure I could mess up with everyone else just as fast. I only managed to be friends with them for about a month and I already caused more problems than you'd read in a novel. It was incredible, really.

   "So you dance when you're sad?" Hansol asked sweetly, his eyes slits as he smiled. I remembered reading online that he only smiled with his eyes around girls, I felt my chest swell.

   "I'm not sad," I frowned, "I'm just troubled. It'll pass." I knew it was a terrible reason to provide to stop his worrying but I couldn't even give myself one. He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

   "You specifically asked for happy music. You don't even like pop."

   "Pfft you don't know me son I can change my mind overnight." I wasn't fond of kpop since I didn't know what they were really saying since they spoke it so fast but I didn't hate it. I tolerated it although I only knew two groups.

   "Son? Damn I just got child zoned." He cursed under his breath but a glint in his eye outed his humor.

   "You're older than me son, I can't be your mother." I let out a low giggle and almost shot myself on the spot. A giggle. What a stupid sound. I looked around and remembered what Dino had told me one time when we were in the room by ourselves. I had just met them and he was telling me more about the guys.