Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 30

"(Y/n) please-" he choked on an oncomign sob "Don't say this, I- I am in love with you and I need you to listen to me. Please I need to explain everything to you but I need you to be calm to-"

"Calm?!" you screamed "You're asking me to be fucking calm?! How the fuck can I be calm when you-" you felt your throat close and your eyes go wide, almost as if you were choking, as you couldn't voice the words.

Hell, you couldn't even believe this was happening let alone say it out loud. Dean, the man you'd met almost four years ago and whom you fell helplessly in love with was here saying he felt the same. He was finally saying he was in love with you after all of the things he made you go through. After nights and nights of him going out with other women while you cried yourself to sleep, after he basically kept you away from his daughter, after he all but pushed you into his brother's arms – making the both of you fall for each other – and after in some way you found some peace he did what? He came and told you he was in love with and took everything to hell with it.

You thought this was and would always be a dream, something you wished would happen but never came true. And you were alright with that. You were content with the fact that this would be just a dream and you would be even more content with being with Sam, the comfort his arms brought to you and your love for him enough to ease every pain. But now Dean was there, right in front of you, telling you he was in love with you? You couldn't stop the thoughts from your mind. Had he all this time? Did he love you when he went out with all those women? Was it hurting him even in the least bit to think of the pain you were going through? Hell, did he even know how much you were suffering all these years? Did he maybe do this on purpose? No, for that you couldn't believe he was capable of. He would never do such a thing consciously to you.

But what about everything else? You thought your world had come upside down when he had asked you not to be close to Mary but this- this was far from that. This was what made everything crumble down to pieces. Pieces you had no idea how you were going to pick up and put back to place, if you ever did. Because Dean was finally saying the words you had been dreaming him to, if only it was the right time though. You had never imagined it like this, never. Not with you being with another man – his brother – and him with another woman at that.

But it was happening. Dean was saying those three words, despite the situation, despite the timing, despite everything. Dean was in love with you. And he was saying it out loud, confessing it to you. He was in love with you. He, all along, felt the same way you had been all this time. Dean was in love with you. You.

"No, no no no." you clenched the sides of your head shaking it, eyes shut tightly you were almost feeling dizzy at the shocking truth that you couldn't believe "Stop, stop it. Stop messing with me!"

"Wh-what?" his voice was so broken "(Y/n), I'm- I'm not messing with you, please." he croaked moving closer to you.

You furiously turned around to look at him with wide eyes. They were red by now and your cheeks were stained with tears. A look of pure horror was on your face as you backed away from him and it broke Dean to pieces to get that reaction from you. It was worse than someone having stabbed him in the chest. The look you gave him, the terror in your eyes and pain above all, made his heart crack inside his chest.

"Why are you doing this to me?" you whispered, looking up at him with pleading eyes "What have I ever done to you to hurt me so much?" your voice cracked as a small whimper left your lips.

You were past broken, this- this was not the way you've wanted it all to happen. No, Dean couldn't- heshouldn't be in love with you. You never knew you'd wish this but- at this moment you prefered if he just wanted to mess with your heart more, hurt you or tease you, instead of actually being in love with you. You would handle the joke but it being a reality, that was the scariest fact of your life. And maybe you wished it was a joke because then you'd stay mad at him and everything would go back to the way it was. But it being real? Dean really being in love with you, how could you handle that? Especially with your emotions running wild.