Athazagoraphobia

chapter 9

After Louis and I talked, we decided to light a fire in the fireplace, make a bed in the front of it, make ourselves some hot chocolate, turn off all the lights and just cuddle. 

This was a tradition of ours. On the first cold day of autumn, we would get into the cold season by doing this, since fall was both of our favorite season. It's just great to be able to bundle up and dress in warm, comfy clothes. There is no sweating your butt off because of the heat or having to drink iced coffee when you prefer it hot.

Louis and I had ended up putting some calm music on in the background. I finish my hot cocoa and place my empty mug on the table behind us and lay down, my head on Louis' lap, looking up at him. His fingers find their way to my curls and he starts running them through my hair, making me sleepy. 

He looks down at me and gives me a gentle smile, one that I return. And we stay like that for a while. When the next song comes on, Louis starts to sing quietly while I listen.

My god he's so beautiful.

I love the way his lips move when he speaks or sings. I love his voice when it's three in the morning and we haven't slept and at twelve in the afternoon when we're hanging out with the boys. I love how soft his skin is, save for his palms and finger tips; that's the only rough part of his body. I love the smell of his hair right when he gets out of the shower and right when he gets off stage, smelling purely like him. I also love the taste of his mouth after he's had his morning tea and right before he brushes his teeth for the night. but mostly, I love his heart. How kind he is. If he see's someone is struggling, he wants to help, no matter the time of day or where he might be. And he cares so deeply for everyone. Especially our fans. He's always trying to make them smile and laugh because he understands that they mat not be happy or that they may not have had the best of days and they're feeling shitty. So he takes every opportunity he can to make them smile at least once and to let them know, you are not alone.

at some point, my eyes slide closed so I can only focus on his voice. He still has his fingers running through my hair. He goes to lay down so I move off his lap and move into his arms when he opens them for me to crawl into. We're hugging each other while laying down, his fingers now going to my back, my head tucked under his chin. He continues to sing and I sigh in content, closing my eyes again. Louis lets out a light chuckle when he see's how relaxed and sleepy I am. 

As I'm drifting into sleep, I place a soft kiss on his collar bone. "I love you, Louis Tomlinson." I barely mutter.

And as the last bits of consciousness are floating away from me, I hear him whisper back, "Me you more, Harry Styles."