Thanatos : The Red Dawn

(30)A Plea in Crimson

This thought process wasn't helping.

Thanatos was lying next to me, but there was about a foot's distance between us. Was he doing this on purpose? Trying to make me nervous; to mess with me? What was he thinking? Was he thinking about me? About us?

I reached under the duvet to make sure my nightie hadn't slipped up. The air was warm, but a cool sea-breeze floated in from my balcony. The white moon was bright and everything was quiet; just the lull of the waves and a small cricket chirping outside.

"Thank you, for earlier."

I broke the silence.

My voice as soft. Thanatos didn't answer, and the silence that followed threatened to swallow my sanity whole. I felt like ducking my head between the pillows as the hollow sound stretched on.

On other occasions, when he was this close to me, the silence in the room was surprisingly comfortable and it felt easy being in his presence, but tonight it was different. He was acting more strange than usual.

Shouldn't he have tried to grope me by now?

I exhaled softly. Maybe I had it all wrong? Maybe his promiscuity was just a way to tease me. Perhaps he was just playing with me; like I was his new pet. And if so- why did that make me feel so empty inside?

The silence marched on...

I turned around, onto my side- my back towards him. I couldn't handle this electricity constantly assaulting me from the side. He must be feeling the density of the air too. It's not just me. It can't be...

"You were about to cry."

My breathing stopped.

Thanatos' voice was soft and unguarded, and without arrogance or authority. It sounded so different. So true, and raw.

I turned my head over my shoulder.

"I... Yes. I was frustrated."

I didn't bother with a lie. There were too many lies running around already. I couldn't keep track of them anymore.

A cool breeze blew through the curtains; causing them to sway and glide over the tiled floor. There was a silent hum of a car passing the house.

Thanatos didn't move or speak.

I turned my body over to face him and was momentarily frozen by how calm he appeared. So beautifully calm; the calm before the storm.

I propped my head onto my arm and fixed my confused eyes on the figure next to me.

His arms were behind his head and his eyes were trained on the moon, shining brightly through the open sliding door. The white, clear curtains fluttered in the breeze.

My eyes moved down from his distinct jaw-line to his bare, tanned chest. He certainly was a god...

"What does it matter?" I asked; my mind racing with numerous reasons for his strange behaviour- none of which made sense. Was he angry with me? Disappointed that I wanted to cry? Did he want me to solve the problem on my own and just let Trita be angry with me?

What was he thinking about right now?

"It doesn't." His raw voice cut through my thoughts."Or at least it shouldn't." It was soft, but I heard him mumble it to the moon.

I gulped.

What was he saying?

Did he care that I wanted to cry earlier? No... Why would he?