Dear Hope [UNDER EDITTING]

Letter twelve [EDITTING]

Dear Happiness,

It's been about one week since I last wrote to anyone. I've been so lost in my homework and any free time I had was dedicated to relaxing while watching YouTube. Things are going well at school. I know where all the classes are and I can make my way around the school without Sally. But I've still hung out with her because, I'll admit, I've warmed up to her a little and she's not as bad as I first thought. She's still lame though, a loner and not someone I want to hang around with. I know I want to have a good presence in the school, and I can't do that by hanging around people who don't have any friends. 

I know you've been around lately because I've been able to think about my plan to find other friends, though now it is rendered pointless. But I also know that Anxiety has been prowling around too, since I feel scared of blowing my new friendship. I think it's started messing with me a bit more because of what happened today. 

I came to school as usual and sat at Sally and my usual spot. I waited for Sally to come the whole time before the bell rang. It was also really boring since I had nothing to do to pass the time. At times I had contemplated going to the year nine block (which I now know is under D block) but my introverted nature as well as Anxiety had gotten the better of me. 

Eventually the bell rang and went to form, sitting alone the entire time as Sally didn't arrive. I was then sure that Sally was not coming and had figured out that today was going to be a lonely day. It also meant that I could go to D block to meet new people without Sally but the idea was still threatening.

When the bell rang for art in D7 with Mr Fletcher, I waited by myself. It felt weird not having lips buzzing like a pair of wings on a fly constantly next to me. I wasn't used to the quiet and I think my ears were thankful. I mean, everyone else was talking so it wasn't silent but it just felt weird not having Sally there. 

Mr Fletcher walked briskly to the door looking rushed and stressed. "Good morning everyone," he said hurriedly. "Now, I have to get supplies from the other classrooms for today's lesson. I'm going to let you all in under the condition that you're not too noisy and you behave yourselves. I won't be long."

He unlocked the door and everyone walked in, still chatting. My first instinct was to go to my usual spot at the front of the class. I pull my chair out to sit down but something came over me. I only sat at the front of the class because Sally did. But the truth is I'd much rather sit in the middle or back, I just feel more comfortable there. I pushed the chair back in and looked around the back. I saw empty chairs at the back of the classroom and went to sit down.

Everyone was taking advantage of the fact that there was no teacher in the class and were sitting on the desks talking. I opened my doodle book and started drawing an otter. I've always liked otters. Clever but lethal. 

"Hey new girl, Sophie right?" someone jeered while slapping my desk. It had startled me so I didn't immediately respond. "Cat got your tongue?" she giggled. 

"Yes, I'm Sophie," I responded firmly. Two other girls stood behind the middle one and I recognised them as the chatty girls in most of my classes. 

"Well, you know this is our spot, right?" she continued. 

"No I didn't," I answered.

"Do you think you can just rock up and steal other people's spots?" the girl to my right snapped, giving me a dirty look.

"I didn't know it was your spot," I reiterated, slightly agitated.

"Give her a break Jemma," the middle one scowled. 

Jemma turned her head away, rolling her eyes as though I couldn't see. 

"There a six seats here and three of them are always empty. There aren't many people in this class," the one to the left chimed in.