Doomed//Bradam Fanfic

| three |

I stepped back into Brad's house and slid my boots off then shuffled my way to the bathroom, making sure I stayed as quiet as possible. I really need this right now.

I pulled the pill bottle out after shutting the door then looked at myself in the mirror. What have I become? I wasn't like this a year ago, this can't be the real me. I saw a shadow grow behind me, giving the image of a sleek man who looked like he could be my twin. But he was the one with bad intentions. He's the one who created this monster. I blinked and the shadow had disappeared. The darker side of me. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, I can't do this, I can't put Brad through this. I set the pills down then rubbed my eyes. My mind flashed back to when we first started touring.

I smiled as I looked over at Brad driving. He had one hand on the wheel and the other resting by the window. His blonde bangs were held to the side by his hat and his loose t-shirt moved with wind coming through the open windows. He glanced in my direction, catching me in the midst of checking him out. I felt my cheeks redden and I quickly forced myself to look straight ahead.

"I know I'm hot, Adz, but damn. You really gotta stare me down like that?" Brad chuckled and I knew my cheeks got redder but I couldn't help but flash a small smile. I mean, he's not wrong.

"Fuck you," I joked, trying to make it seem like I wasn't thinking what he knew I was thinking. I crossed my arms then continued looking out the front window.

"Awe, is wittle Adz frustrated because Bwadwey caught him staring?"

"Shut up, Brad."

"I'm just saying....you look like a puppy waiting for a treat...if you like it so much why don't ya marry it?"

"I said shut up, Brad!" He laughed but finally kept his mouth shut. I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach at the thought of marrying Brad. That would definitely be the best day of my life.

Maybe I shouldn't do this? Brad would be so disappointed if I did. But it hurts so damn bad. I felt my insides pulsing and my heart racing a mile a minute. I clutched my chest in pain and I scrunched my nose up as I groaned. I took a deep breath in and had to keep myself from screaming when I let it out. Dammit, Adam, just take the fucking pills. A few wouldn't hurt, right?

I grasped the bottle and started pouring out pills I crunched them in my mouth then swallowed them as I sat down up against the wall. I blinked and took another deep breath. The pain in stomach started to fade, but my heart kept racing.

I kept downing a few pills at a time, waiting long enough to feel the numbness deepen. But it was never enough, I didn't feel satisfied. So I kept going, taking a palm-full at a time, telling myself each time that this would be my last round. I would stop after this one. But, of course, I would keep going.

Suddenly my whole body felt like it was floating through the air. I couldn't feel a thing. I started to get dizzy, then my peripheral vision started fading and I felt like I couldn't move my hands. I made an attempt to stand up but my knees buckled under me and I crashed to the cold tile floor, my head banging against the hard surface. I groaned and shook my head in agony, the lights were becoming too bright for my liking. I felt a liquid surround my head and shoulders making me feel uncomfortable. I turned my head to the side and noticed the liquid was a deep red and had a metallic smell to it. My eyes were begging to close as I laid helpless on the floor. All I wanted were my damn pills. A sharp pain sparked in my chest then moved to stomach. I let out a scream and the room started to spin. The pain moved throughout each part of my body and I couldn't handle it anymore.

"Brad" I choked out as loud as I could, "Bradl-"
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I keep laughing at myself bc a couple days ago a girl who goes to my school asked me out and I didn't know what to say so I kinda just froze and stared at her blankly and then she continued the convo and I just
wow... nice job, me.
I kinda feel bad now but like I still talk to her so I think we're good ??? idk man but anYWAY
sorry I haven't updated, tbh I'm just not feeling the writing thing rn because some stuff popped up but I'm trying to get with it so cut me some slack fam. that's my life atm, wbu?
oH AND ONE MORE THING ADAM AND JEANIE ARE FUCKIN GOALS OK OK lmfao