inspiration

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slam my head against the backboard of my bed while massaging my broken down bones

kiss me under the moonlight with cigarettes in your hands, and the smoke releasing all that you held in pain

let the wind break away every unloved emotion you've ever felt and cleanse your painted-black lungs which match your colored nails

and let me save you with the broken words that escape my chewed swollen mouth from kissing you and only you,  and the nervous words that escape my it will curse my name and scream as i bite my lip with metallic tastes of pain; slipping down my chin and a remorseful will to live.

because you aren't okay

and neither am i

but, as i was taught in 3rd grade math; two halves make a whole

and together, i guess we could manage to scrap by.  we could carve the days the managed not to kill ourselves in our bedroom walls; while screaming in our blue depressed rooms

only a thin set of air between our breaths and a hitch in my throat could make anyone move the slightest bit closer to let the air between us turn to nothing and be replaced with air that we share

and the more we kiss the more your lungs fade to a pretty-pink color and the more my scars on my lips will turn to white invisible marks; and to never be messed with again

and hopefully that one night we sat in the chilled air, with your jacket over my shoulders and your lips in my neck could take me back to every time i spent with her; and how her lips felt only half as soft and her jackets were never as warm

your words; which were promised with hands swaying over my body and smoke snaking out if your lips; will always be held dear to me and your black lungs will always be my favorite shade

just take me to a tree and kiss me under the stars, let us lay in the branches and hold every good emotion that swayed through our plum-colored bloodstream

while finally, holding my heart in your hands, with invisible tattoos of promises you swore to keep

and a tree of roots holding down my hands and your shaded black lungs always improving our plans

//i'm sad and nostalgic

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