DETECTIVE FILES. File 2 (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 34: CONFIRMATION

"I hate you because you're not here kanina when I hate Math so much! I hate Math and I hate Medicol!", he said at nai-imagine ko ang nanggagalaiting mukha nito habang nagsasalita. Jeremy has a weird personality. The annoying type but once you know him well enough ay hahanap-hanapin mo na ito. Believe me or not, tila kulang ang araw ko kapag hindi ko naririnig ang mga corny na jokes and puns nito which he gladly call quizzes.

"Why? What's wrong with Math and Medicol?", I asked. Medicol is Math's chocolate-colored Labrador.

"Grrr! Nakakainis yung dumi na iyon! My God bestie, if you would see Medicol, masasabi mo talagang ma-swerte na si Porsche dahil mukha itong basahan", wika niya.

"I don't get you."

"Ganito kasi. Nagstro-strolling kami ni Porsche and unfortunately, si Math at Medicol din and then Medicol plunged into Porsche and-"

"And what Jeremy?"

"And the rest was SPG", he said with a sigh. Oh, seriously? He just called just to inform me that Medicol and Porsche mated?

"What's wrong with it Je?", tanong ko sa kanya.

"Bestie! Imagine a bulldog and a Labrador?! Mukhang basahan si Porsche but I really love her, so don't get me wrong okay? Tapos si Medicol naman mukhang dumi, so ano nalang ang magiging breed nila, Asong Grasa? Bestie! Paano na yan! I need an abortionist-"

Bigla akong natawa sa kanya. Jeremy is very naive and so cute! "Are you laughing at me Bestie?", he asked seriously. "I'm in a serious situation here. Look, kapag nagkaanak si Porsche at Medicol, ibig sabihin ay magiging Balae kami ni Math! Oh no!"

"Jeremy, hindi pa naman sigurado kung mabubuntis ba talaga si Porsche."

"I hope not!"

"Kung ayaw mo naman palang magka-breed ng Labrador, you should have stop them on the first place", wika ko sa kanya.

"I did! At alam mo ba kung ano ang sabi ni Medicol sa akin?"

"What?"

"He said, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! And then he showed me his sharp fangs! Now tell me, paano ko sila mapipigilan?", he really sounded so upset but he was succesful in portraying the sound of an angry dog. For the second time ay natawa ako kay Jeremy!

"Jeremy, That's seriously your problem?", hindi makapaniwalaang tanong ko sa kany. God, sa dami ng problema sa mundo, a bulldog mating with Labrador shouldn't be one of it!

"Bestie, wag mo akong pagtawanan! I'm serious here", he said in an irritated voice.

"Fine. Ano ba ang magagawa ko diyan?", tanong ko. I guess I have to cope with his craziness over his dog Porsche.

"Find me an abortionist", wika niya.

"I told you, it's not sure if she'll get pregnant or what."

"Bestie naman eh!"

"Jeremy yan lang ba ang pakay mo kaya ka tumawag sa akin?"

"No. I want to give you a quiz", he said and I can imagine he's grinning face everytime he said those magic words, I HAVE A QUIZ I which I believe that he should say I HAVE A PUN.

"Correction, it's pun."

"No, it's a quiz."

"Whatever. Shoot."

He cleared his throat bago nagsalita. "Diba natanong ko na ang motor na tumatawa? How about yung umiiyak?", he asked and I mentally rolled my eyes.