Robin des Bois ✓

twenty-one. Safe Haven

Gabe was the first to look away, his eyes returning a tad bit too quickly to his cellphone, but even then the haze remained, surrounding us like smoke. I un-bit my lower lip abashedly and felt treacherous heat creeping into my cheeks. I looked down at my plate and took another bite of waffle, willing the moment to just pass already. I tried not to let my eyes rest anywhere near him even though my gaze was drawn to him like a magnet.

He broke the silence by asking me about finals and I told him about my semester project, relieved to find something else to latch onto. I didn't want to start analyzing what had just happened between us –I would probably read too much into it.

I hesitated before telling him the subject matter. It sounded so much sillier said out loud –in my head, it all made perfect sense. The three photos that would compose the final piece –Alexei's picture in the middle, his skin covered in galaxies, and Tina and Tyler on either side, covered in blooming flowers and lush greenery. Tina, illuminated by the bright glow of the sun and Tyler, bathed in the ethereal silvery sheen of the moon. Then Alexei, half in shadow half illuminated by daylight, darkness fading into light, hate transforming into love. Metamorphosis. Feelings turned into colors through paint and pictures doing what pictures did best: telling the words our language had yet to invent.

Gabe listened in silence, sipping his coffee and nibbling on his waffles, his eyes soft and warm as I babbled on and on. He didn't interrupt, not even once, letting me speak unbidden, until I forgot why I'd ever felt shy in the first place. The way he watched me made me feel as though every word I uttered was of the utmost importance.

He managed to keep me talking even as I changed into yesterday's clothes —at some point during the night he must've washed and dried them because they smelled fresh and a little bit like him. It was nothing but a fraction of the scent I'd bathed in while wrapped up in his sheets, but even that hint of him was enough to make my wound up muscles melt a little.

Gabe didn't have to try very hard to get me to tell him things I'd never told anyone else, unveiling me layer by layer. A pointed question here and a witty remark there and I was all but laying myself down for him to read like an open book while he remained as aloof and shrouded in mystery as ever.

Before I even noticed, we were in his car and then parked along the sidewalk next to T&T's apartment.

I felt my stomach tying itself into knots as I looked at the blurred gray buildings outside. The whole block was made of identical apartment complexes, all built with the same drab, muddy bricks. Behind the sheet of rain that pelted the windows of Gabe's car, the outside world was a monochrome, unwelcoming blur.

I took a deep, shuddering breath to steady my nerves and my hand rested on the door handle, trembling slightly. I turned my head to thank him, but even as I opened my mouth one of his hands found the nape of my neck while the other slipped onto my thigh. He pressed his forehead against mine, his breaths meeting mine in the small space between us and goosebumps erupted all over my arms.

His mouth was unnervingly close. If I just tilted my head back ever so slightly, my lips would meet his and then...

And then what exactly? What would kissing Gabriel accomplish? I didn't want to admit it, but the answer was plain and simple: nothing.

If anything, it would only add another problem to my already looming pile of worries.

"I don't want to sound cruel," he began as his thumb traced the side of my neck with a rare tenderness. "But you need to be strong. For them." His eyes darted to the building outside. "The way they were strong for you when you needed them most."

I knew what he meant immediately. The memory was still fresh and it felt like a wound that hadn't ever perfectly healed.

Tina and Tyler had been the ones to pull me out of the tomb I'd created for myself in my own room after my mother's untimely death. They'd been by my side when I came back to school, surrounded by an unshakeable aura of tragedy that drew people in like sharks to blood. Tina had quelled any and all gossip under her heel by becoming the new center of attention —she did it all: kissing older boys, getting in trouble with teachers, even going as far as almost getting arrested. Tyler had been the opposite —gentle and calm, always keeping an eye on me, making sure I ate during lunch, walking me to my classes... Together they'd accomplished the impossible –I'd followed my mother into death and they brought me back to life.