What is Freedom?

Knock knock knock

I opened my eyes witth the first round of kocks at my door. Who on Asgard would think of visiting me? It didn't matter. I didn't want to see anyone, nor did I want anyone to see me. So, I simply sat there in the same position I'd been in the night before.

Knock, knock, knock. Go away. Knock, knock, knock. I don't want you here. Knock, knock, knock. I swear if I hear one more knock....

Knock kn-

"WHAT?!" I shouted, all of my patience gone. "What is so important that you must come and REPETITIVELY knock on my door, when it is evident that I DO NOT WANT COMPANY?!"

There was silence, and I was begining to think that whomever was there had left. That was, until I heard an old, familiar voice. Booming, even when it was quiet. 

"Loki...? May I come in?" asked none other than the Golden Son of Asgard himself.

"No," I replied simply.

"Why not?" he asked, sounding hurt. He did not have the right to sound hurt. To be hurt. 

I stood and stormed over to the door, which I swung open. "WHY NOT?!'" I shouted. "Because you didn't seem to want anything to do with me when you DISOWNED ME!" I could tell without a mirror my face was turning blue. I didn't want that side of myself to show. It just reminded me of my pain. Thor took advantage of my trying to calm myself and spoke.

"What are you talking about, Loki?" he asked. "I heard you were released, and I came to see you, brother."

I was recovered enough to say, throught gritted teeth, "I'm not your brother... or I'm not anymore."

He looked confused, frustrated, and angry at the same time. "Would you let that go? We grew up together! We fought together! Do not say you no not remember, Loki!"

"We have been through this, Thor. And if you want me to accept you so much, then why did you just stand by as Odin disowned me? As he called me Laufeyson, and cast me out of the family!!" I didn't realize I'd been yelling. I couldn't stop the rage now. "Don't you DARE come in here and call me "brother" when you did nothing to stop Odin. I spent every day in prison, where you did not visit me ONCE, reliving in mu mind over and over again the events before and during New York. Do you not think I have been throuogh enough trauma and pain without you disowning me?! I had faith that you, of all people, would be waiting wiht open arms to help me. I guess I was wrong about you, Thor. You DON'T care! You NEVER cared, did you?!" I could see that my words stung him. Good. He deserved pain. He, Frigga, and Odin all did. 

His face showed some understanding, but not of what I was saying, I knew. He looked distant. "I must speak with Odin at once." And then he was gone, and I was alone.

I closed the door and leaned my back against it, then sliding down to the floor. "He acts so innocent," I commented to myself. "I remeber when his innocence was true, and when he was genuine in calling me 'brother'." I lauged slightly. "And when my mind wasn't plagued with nightmares of Thanos, of darkness, and of falling." 

The truth, I did not remember those days at all. I just imagined what they would have been like. Afterv years and years of white walls and glass, I'd forgotten anything other than what was there, aside from the repeating nightmares. I didn't remember them, but I longed for them. 

But i have learned many times over, you don't always get what you desire.