Affliction

36

"That's all I needed to know."

I hit the end button and dropped it on the tile floor. I heard it clatter, but for the first time, I didn't care if it shattered.

"Thank god." Demi sighed, running her hands through her hair, "That would've been awful."

I feel relieved that I didn't make out with my brother, but I'm still pissed off by the situation I'm in. How disgusting? I still feel like literal trash right now. That would've been incest. I probably would have jumped out my two story bedroom window if it were true.

"Now block him," Wilmer stated, "I don't want you in contact with him in anyway."

I nodded. I knew I wouldn't talk to him if he were blocked or not. I'm pretty damn sure he still has me blocked on social media. What for? Don't know.

"I'm going to bed," I mumbled, pushing myself up off the ground.

"I'll walk you up there," Demi said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"Goodnight, kid." Wilmer said, giving me a little side hug.

"Night." I said, giving him a slight hug in return. "I.. I'll get to see you before we leave tomorrow, right?"

"I hope so.." He said, guilt registering on his face. That means no. I'm used to feeling disappointed, it's fine.

"Yeah." I mumbled, turning away from him. Can't they just make up already? My whole life would be complete if they would just come back to each other.

"You'll be back down soon, right?" Wilmer asked mom, "I, uh, wanted to, talk.."

She looked over at me, as if she didn't know what to do. I'm sure she's in no mood to talk to him about anything and I also know she doesn't like leaving my side when I'm sick. I don't know, it's a mom thing, I guess. But, I'm not actually sick, so it's kind of pointless.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I'll be down."

We walked up the stairs, while my stomach growled. It's hallow, but I definitely do not have an appetite right now. I can't even think about what happened moments before because it makes my stomach churn.

I flipped the switch to my light on, and saw my room for the first time in a while. It's going to feel so good to sleep in my bed for once. It may be for only one night, but that's better than nothing.

"I'm going to brush my teeth," I announced, walking into the bathroom. I fished around the drawer for a toothbrush I left behind, then began to clean them. I looked into the mirror, but the girl before me isn't recognizable. I looked away.

"I put another cold wash cloth by your bed," Demi said, peering into the bathroom. "I'll come up here before I go to sleep and see if you're awake. How are you feeling?"

I spit the toothpaste into the sink, "Icky."

She pouted, came over, and kissed me on the forehead. "I'm sorry.. I love you, and if you're asleep before I come up, goodnight."

"Goodnight, love you." I said as she gave a faint smile.

How am I supposed to fall asleep with everything running through my mind? So many things are going on at once and I have no idea how to keep them in line. The whole Jacob and Lisa thing is confusing. Being in a city every night is confusing. Wilmer and Demi are confusing. I feel like I have to choose between them. I feel so... Empty right now. My life is confusing and I just need someone to make sense of this.