40UR XL (Completed)

Chapter 9

It was a cold Saturday. I was looking through some junk in my room. Trying to organize my small space, sinse I was leaving Kennedy high, I wanted to release baggage I had in my life. I loved that song by Erykah Badu "Bag Lady" because it related to my life, I really need to learn how to let things go, and plan for the future. I mean, it could of been worse, like in Natalia's case. My sister thought she had a mother here, but turns out MY mother is actually her 2nd cousin. She handled her emotions very well, even though I could tell she still had a lot of questions. "So how was you, and my mother Rochelle's relationship" Natalia asked my mom. She cleared her throat in an attempt to answer promptly. "Well, we were very close, Especially as kids...Her mother, April, was my favorite aunt. She'd always come over my mothers house with Rochelle" she said quickly trying to drop the subject. "Well, what did she look like? What was her favorite color, and what did she do for a living?...etc" Natalia asked. "Her favorite color was Maroon. She planned to go to med school, but she worked part time as a waitress" She answered. "And what about her looks?" Natalia reminded her. She stood up from the loveseat and went to her room, only to return with a wallet sized portrait. She handed the picture to Natalia. "

Everyday that I see you, you remind me of your mother... as you can see, you are a spitting image, that's why its so hard for me to displease you. I live with the regret, I feel as If I took her away from you myself. I lost her and I hope i'll never loose you baby" she said hugging Natalia with a tear rolling down her face. "You'll always be my mama to me" she whispered back, clearly emotional. Ugh,I lived with a bunch of cry babies, but I loved them though. I came across a bunch of old letters. Some poems I wrote about my ex-crush Jessy, Some old math quizzes I failed, and one letter unopened from San Diego State. I didn't remember seeing this letter before, but I did remember filling the application out....RECENLY. I tore open the letter, as fast as I had the epiphany. It read:

Congratulations Natalie Joanne Brookes! You have been accepted to SanDiego State University!

We would be looking forward to see you on campus this fall!

Sincerely,

Kevin R. Hawkins'

Director of admissions

This was the beginning of my life, when I felt that like was more then being 4xL. I never really thought about my future, until very recently. I was done holding sorrow and pity on myself. I knew It was game time. I felt so happy and I had my mind made up. I ran to the living room and showed he family. I was glad to know I was the first one in the whole family to go to college. All my life I thought I was good for nothing, because I wasn't a certain size, but I overlooked my smarts. I called Otis, who was on his way out of town, on his way back home. "Hey Otis guess what!" I screeched into the phone. "What my baby? make it quick, I'm driving and I dont have a headset yet" he rushed. "I got accepted to San Diego State" I damn near screamed. " Wait hold up , let me pull over.......................Did you just say you got accepted to the University where I live?"  he questioned. "i DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU STAYED DOWN THERE... I THOUGHT YOU LIVED IN NEWYORK?" I answered with excitement.

"I came down to the west side years ago, when the rumor got around that beverly moved to southern California. I didnt know where though...so I started from the bottom, now I'm here!" he joked. "With all seriousness though, baby I am so proud of you. Feel free to move in with me if you aint about that dorm life, like I was..hahaha" he said. "Hushhh da- I mean Otis, " I joked back. "You can call me Dad, Pops, Daddy, Big Pimpin Otis, what ever you want" he laughed. I saw where I got my sense of humor from clearly. " No matter what, you'll always be my baby for a life  time...Your so smart. You can tell you were a person who was destined for greatness all along" he mushed. "You know what dad, I never told anyone this before, but all my life I'd never imagine myself ever going to college. I never thought I was good enough for anything" I confessed. there was a tiny bit of silence over the phone. " Everyone has felt that way one point in time, as long as you grow to love yourself, and prepare for opportunities like this one here.. you will make it in this life time...comfortable" he spoke.  As I started to answer him, I looked down in my lap and saw an ugly ass spider crawling up my knee. I screamed and yelled and grabbed the nearest piece of junk paper and smacked the shit out of it. "HELLO!. NATALIE??? BABY YOU ALRIGHT" my dad shouted. "I'm okay dad, It was a spider" I calmly said. We laughed and chatted a little bit longer , before he decided to drive again. I was so happy to get to know my dad, he was so cool.

I still had the paper curled up with the dead spider on it. I saw it was a free week membership to the 24/7 Total fitness gym, valid in any city, and in  every state that had 24/7 Total Fitness,  exept Hawaii and Alaska. Perfect for my new life inI have always been a people pleaser, but It was time to start pleasing myself. It was time to put those negative memories into gear as motivation in the gym. San Diego here I come! Now, did I start tomiss my old life? Kennedy high, Voidina street, Desmond? HELL NO. I have been waiting for my time to shine, for once. It was well over due. Even though Desmond was my first, I felt animosity against him. I started to think of how he played me, and how I was so stupid to fall for him. He was too organized with the shit. I mean, c'mon! who in the hell drives someone's to their house they dont even know? I should of known then he was trying to take advantage of me then, but my mom and sister were there the first time. I dont like holding grudges though. So instead, I decided to forgive and forget. What would Jesus do?