chapter three/can i help you

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jenna left later that evening, with the promise of a new target to cheer me up. i don't know why she thinks that will make me happy, but i let her go. now, i sit shirtless on the couch, watching television to ignore a feeling of guilt and loneliness.

zack returns later looking forlorn. he mopes his way toward my spot on the couch, collapsing next to me.

"what's wrong?" i ask, turning off the television.

"the hospital called today," he states.

"and...?"

"they lost tyler's body," he shakes his head, as if he couldn't believe the news.

"what do you mean?" i swallow nervously, a sneaky glimpse of the man with his family appearing in my mind.

"i mean they buried an empty casket," zack snaps.

"i-i'm sorry," i say for lack of any other words.

he scoffs, standing up and jerkily distancing himself from me. "that's all you ever are josh. you murdered my brother and all you can say is you're fucking sorry for doing it!"

"hey, your brother murdered my friends!" i argue.

"oh shut up! if he didn't, you would have! like you actually even care about anybody, josh!"

i flinch, the words striking an invisible cord. zack doesn't seem to notice, continuing to pelt me with further insults.

"you are the most self-absorbed piece of shit i have ever had the misfortune of meeting! you pretended to cry when they questioned you, don't lie. you might as well have been laughing you were so pleased with your work. i'm not impressed josh! believe it or not he was my brother and i loved him, and just because you didn't doesn't give you the right to be a complete ass about it!"

"zack i don't think tyler's dead," i murmur quietly, looking down at the ground.

he stops in his tracks. his inflamed eyes settle back to a quiet roar as they glance at me. "what?"

"today, i was out on my walk. i ended up in some nice neighborhood and ithinkisawhim," i blurt out quickly.

the room is quiet for a moment and i can hear my heart beat begin to increase. i'm scared of what zack may say to me. i shift my gaze toward him, trying to gauge his reaction. i'm met with an empty room.

"what the- zack where the hell did you go?" i call out.

he comes bustling in, tossing tyler's hoodie at my naked torso. his eyes are urgent as he snatches his own infamous red hoodie.

"why are you still sitting down? where are my keys?"

i stand against my will, bewilderedly pointing toward where his keys lay on the counter.

"alright, let's go," he gestures wildly, beckoning me to the door.

"where are we going?" i utter finally, shaking out of my daze.

"you're gonna lead the way to this neighborhood and tell me where my brother is," he states, his grave voice sending chills down my arms.

i nod, following him out to his car. he first drives in the opposite direction to pick up jenna who clambers in the jeep half awake. i fidget as i give him the instructions to the part of town i was in.

there comes to be a fork in the road between two neighborhoods matching my description and i pinch my leg as zack begins yelling at me for not knowing which way.

"stop yelling! it's not gonna make me magically think of the right answer!" i snap.

we're parked in the fork, cars simply swerving around us. night falls quickly around us, and jenna begins to argue with zack. i struggle to control my anxiety.

"zack, come on go easy. he might've just seen the boy he murdered six months ago walking around completely alive. give him a break," jenna sympathizes.

"yeah well that boy is my brother. josh fucking deserves it," zack spits.

"funny, coming from the guy who killed his step father."

i am not prepared for the hard slap across the face when it comes. it forces my head to snap completely to the right side, my hand coming up to cup the injured skin. i scoff, turning to look at zack who's fists are balled up in anger but his eyes are covered in shock. my stare flickers to jenna who's leaning forward in the back seat with one hand still raised in the air.

"what the fuck?" i ask her.

"you killed his brother. you don't get to make snarky comments about his conscience," she narrows her eyes at me.

"i swear to god is everyone in this car against me? go to the fucking left," i point offhandedly.

"are you s-"

"fucking go!" i snap.

this time he listens, careening his car into the middle class neighborhood on our left. i grit my teeth as i tell him to drive to the very end of the road, and point at the house i'm sure is tyler's. he parks the car in the driveway, and for a moment all there is is silence.

he climbs out of the jeep, instructing me to follow. jenna, never one to stay behind, tags along. we march as an unlikely trio, the tall hot blonde, the attractive man in a red hoodie who should probably be in some hollywood movie, and the serial killer with purple hair. zack knocks on the door and we wait for approximately twenty one seconds.

the door swings open and i have to fight the tears of relief and shock threatening to spill. there, is tyler joseph grinning and smiling like a loon. his gaze falls on me first and i instinctively smile back. the smile falters though, because there is tyler joseph, sure.

but there is a vacant look in his eye.

we all wait for a sign of recognition, any glimmer that shows he knows us.

it doesn't come.

i want to slam my head into the brick wall in front of me as he continues to smile and asks, "hi, can i help you?"

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