Learning to Live

Chapter 3

Niall's P.O.V.

The ride home from the therapist is awkward. How do you deal with being told you're basically going to go crazy? I keep looking over at Harry as he drives but he's too busy concentrating on the road. I sigh and lean back in my seat. The therapist went on and on about how all of this is normal and it happens sometimes. The last time I checked, most pop stars don't get kidnapped.

We pull up in the drive way and I quickly unbuckle myself. I'm about to open the car door when I feel Harry's hand on my arm.

"Niall..."

"What." I can't help but snap back. It's all this PTSD shit.

"I understand that you're upset."

"You don't understand the half of it."

I glare at him and continue to get out of the car. I walk up to the house and as soon as the door is open I make a run for my bedroom. My bedroom is the only place where no one can bother me about eating and taking those stupid HIV pills. I'm so tired of being treated like I'm some little new born, who can't help themselves. I'm 19, I can handle myself and everything that's wrong with me.

I slam my door closed and flop down onto the bed. I sigh into my pillow and begin to think of how my life would have been different if it weren't for that stupid guy Levi. I fall asleep thinking of how my life would be better if he had killed me.

Harry's P.O.V.

I watch as Niall runs up to the front door and slams it behind him. I sigh and climb out of the front seat. Why does Niall only see the bad things about him? Heck, I don't see any bad things wrong with him. Sure, he has his fair share of problems that he faces, but don't we all? He just needs to take a step back and look at all the good things.

When I reach the living room I watch as three pairs of eyes follow me.

"What's wrong with Niall?" Can't they leave me alone to my thoughts for once?

"He just..um..you know."

"Know what exactly?"

"Niall has PTSD..I guess."

"Oh."

The whole room goes quiet. Everyone's left with their thoughts. Niall is so broken, but he can be fixed. I know he can be fixed, and I'm not going to stop helping him until he is. Niall is one of those people who doesn't want help. He thinks he can help himself, but he can't. We have to remind him to take his medicine and we have to help him with the dreams. Those same dreams haunt my thoughts too.

I'm awoken to the sound of crying. I look around me and notice I'm still on the couch, in the living room. There's no sign of the other boys, but I still hear crying. Niall. I jump up from the couch and run up the stairs as fast as my legs can take me. When I reach the top, the crying has turned in to whimpers. I run to Niall's room and find him curled up on his bed. I sit down next to him and begin shaking him, when I notice the tears running down his red cheeks.

"Niall. Come on, it's all a dream. Wake up."

He lays there shaking with the silent tears continuing to run down his cheeks.

"Niall, please."

He jerks awake and flings himself into my arms.

"He was there. Oh God he was there! And, and I could feel him touching me again! Harry, you can't let him find me. Oh my God, what if he finds me again? What if next time he tries to kill me or something?"

I bring his head into my chest and begin rocking back and forth. I can hear him babbling into my shirt but I don't have the heart to listen to it. The thought of Niall getting taken again, physically hurts me. I'm already trying my hardest to not tear up, but it's getting harder the longer I listen to him cry and babble to himself.

"Niall, please stop."

The babbling slowly stops but the crying continues.

"Niall, that's never going to happen again. No one is going to take you, because no one is going to come near you. Okay?"

He looks up from my chest with those big blue eyes of his. He sniffles and continues to blink up at me. I bring him back into my chest and rock him until I feel him go back to sleep. I don't know why I'm feeling this way towards him. I have this need to protect him and love him and make sure that he's always happy and okay. That no harm will ever come near him again. I know deep down I can't really provide that kind of protection, but I let myself think that.

I brush my fingers through his hair and listen to his breathing. He's just so small and delicate, that it makes me heartbroken to even think about. When I glance down to see if he's still crying, I see that horrible scar that haunts me. How could you do that to a living person? How could you make someone go through so much pain, just because you didn't get what you wanted? I just don't get it. I lay my chin on top of his head and whisper the words that I mean in so many different ways,

"I love you."

Niall's P.O.V.

He loves me.

Author's note:

I'm back! I've been gone for so long and I am so sorry! I was going through this the other day and I do feel bad for leaving the few of you hanging. I hate that with authors so I'm sorry! But here's chapter 3! I really hope it's alright and I remember everything correctly! It would be awesome if I could have some feed back on it! I will try to update as much and as fast as I can. This book will probably be short with short chapters. I will begin a new book and stick with it! Thank you all! (: