Chim- Cant Explain How Im Feeling (Sequel to I Never Thought I'd Feel This Way)

Chapter: 23-24

Cheryl laughed, picking some noodles up with the chop sticks for herself.  Then she looked at Kimberley.  “You know I’d do anything, don’t you?  Fly the others out here; fly your mam out here; call Nadine; call the agency – get us extra time here in the villa; change the flights; go home tomorrow…”

“I know you would, babe”, nodded Kimberley.  “The problem is, I don’t know what I want you to do.  I don’t know what to do”.

“Well, I was thinking,” started Cheryl, playing with the food on her plate.  “If I had to, I mean if there was no other option, I could go to court.  If that’s what you wanted”.

Kimberley sighed and shook her head.  “You don’t need to do this now – we don’t need to do this now”. 

“We do,” replied Cheryl sadly, reaching a hand out to touch Kimberley’s face.  “Because I can’t distract you for long before your mind starts wondering.  I see it in your eyes and it makes me want to just make it all go away”.

Kimberley sighed and took Cheryl’s hand in hers.  “I don’t think you can, babe.  Even agreeing to go to court – it doesn’t make it go away, does it?  I wish it was that simple, Cheryl.  But the more I go over it, the more I just think we can’t sort this – not until your divorce is over and done with and we can just move on”.

“Well no,” agreed Cheryl.  “But in the short-term – we have to deal with how I get divorced.  I want to know what you want to do”.

“Honestly?” asked Kimberley, observing Cheryl’s face.  Cheryl nodded for Kimberley to continue.  “I want you to postpone your album’s release and anything else you’ve got pending for when we go back, and I want you to rent us a gorgeous villa on a private Caribbean island, and I want to go there with you until this is all finished”.

Cheryl looked down at her plate, not for any particular reason, just to avoid Kimberley’s stare.  Then she swallowed hard, looking up at Kimberley again, and her voice came out quiet, much quieter than she intended.  “If that’s what you want.  I’ll call Hilary tomorrow”.

Kimberley shook her head and brought her hands up to her head.  “F*ck, no Cheryl.  That’s not what I want”.  She rubbed her eyes.

Cheryl frowned.  She opened her mouth to speak but changed her mind and waited for Kimberley to continue.

Kimberley ran her hands through her hair and left her hands on top of her head.  Then she looked at Cheryl, who was still waiting for her to speak.  “That’s what I want in my head.  In an ideal world we would just disappear together and wait for it to be okay again.  But that’s not gonna work in the real world, babe”.

Cheryl stared at Kimberley for a bit, thinking about what she had said.  Kimberley stared back for a few seconds then looked down at the plates.  “We should eat more before it goes cold”, and she started eating.

 Cheryl mirrored Kimberley, eating some noodles, some of the soup, both of them trying to enjoy the food.  After a while Cheryl put her fork down.  “Babe, I just want to be with you.  You matter more than work, more than what people think, more than anything.  You know that don’t you?” and she moved her head forward, prompting Kimberley to look into her eyes.

Kimberley nodded shyly.  

“But we both have a responsibility to the girls and to the band, and if we get negative press, it will affect them.  So we need to be very sure about how much we’re prepared to let Ashley hurt us, and those that we care about,” Cheryl reached over and put her hand over Kimberley’s.