Chim- Cant Explain How Im Feeling (Sequel to I Never Thought I'd Feel This Way)

Chapter: 21-22

Cheryl shook her head.  “He knows how I feel about going to court.  I can’t bear the thought of it…” she looked up at Kimberley.  “What does Hilary say – how do I settle before it gets to that?” 

Kimberley brought her knees up on the sofa to her chest and hugged them, resting her chin on her knees.  “You admit you cheated first – pushed him away.  I don’t know what would happen money-wise, but you would accept that in the divorce papers - and whatever the press made of it”.

“And have him looking like the poor wronged husband?  He can just f*ck right off.  What other options are there?”  Cheryl ran a hand through her hair again.

Kimberley looked down at the floor.  “Either maintain a dignified silence and let him have his day in court, or hit back in the press – and let him have his day in court”.

“And?” Cheryl impatiently prompted Kimberley for another option.

Kimberley looked up and shrugged.  “That’s it – they’re the options.  Unless we lie and officially admit on your divorce papers that you’ve been cheating on him for well over 18 months, it will end up before a judge.”  Kimberley carefully avoided using the word “court”.

Cheryl put her head in her hands.  “Kimberley, I can’t stand up in another court – not after last time…”

Kimberley heard Cheryl’s voice start to crack and although she couldn’t see Cheryl’s face, she knew the tears weren’t far away.  She stood up quickly and walked to the table, pulling a chair close to Cheryl’s and taking hold of her arms.  “Come on,” she said soothingly, pulling Cheryl to her.

Cheryl allowed Kimberley to pull her into her own body, and rested her head on her shoulder, closing her eyes gratefully and allowing Kimberley to support her body weight.  Kimberley wrapped her arms around Cheryl and hugged her tightly, kissing her face several times then resting her own face against Cheryl’s.

“What am I supposed to do?” Cheryl mumbled quietly.

“I don’t know,” admitted Kimberley, equally as quietly.  “I don’t think lying on legal documents is a good idea, and besides – if you admit adultery it’s gonna end up in every paper and every magazine – we’d get slaughtered by the press.  They supported you when he cheated the first time – imagine if they were to think that you’d already cheated on him.  Hilary would kill you – the negative press would be unthinkable, and it might impact on the band.  Plus, I’d end up looking like some evil adulterer and that’s not exactly appealing”.

Cheryl listened intently without lifting her face up.  “But court, Kimberley…”

“Well, if we get him to back down, it won’t get that far,” said Kimberley, gently stroking Cheryl’s arm.

Cheryl pulled away slightly and lifted her head up to look at Kimberley.  “Then we make him back down.  How do we do that?”

Kimberley looked down briefly at the table then back up at Cheryl, tears already forming in her eyes.  Cheryl instantly raised a hand and cupped Kimberley’s face.  “What?”  She lowered it and squeezed Kimberley’s arm.

“Hilary said one option would be to tell all - do an exclusive.  Explain how long we’ve really been together – why we weren’t together before that, how happy we are now.  Be so honest and frank that he’d have to back down to avoid being crushed financially at court”.  Kimberley’s voice trailed off.

Cheryl slowly lifted a hand back up to Kimberley’s face and stopped a tear from falling.  She didn’t need Kimberley to say anymore.  “And you can’t bear the thought of doing it”.