The Ghost of Us

Chapter One

The air was cold, I felt as if i was breathing in ice. My veins shivered as the polar substance flowed in and out of my body. But I enjoyed it, I enjoyed walking around in the frigid air, watching the soft snowflakes fall from the sky and collide against my skin. It felt comforting, Like the snow was trying to love me, trying to care, trying to be my friend.

"Friends." I mumbled, and let out a quick laugh,

"What good they were." I said sarcastically.

I looked down at the ground and my long black hair fell in my face. There must have been at least 15 centimeters of snow piled up on the ground. I looked back up and gazed at the tall evergreens, covered in white, standing so impossibly strong against the cold. I don't think I would have been able to withstand the cold without my jacket and my beanie. I started walking again, deeper into the forest. With every step my memories began to come to my mind, haunting me. About a half hour of walking I took my bag off and sat down next to it. I had reached my destination. This was my quiet place, I escaped here whenever I felt low. I have never showed anyone this place. I looked over to my left, at a particularly tall evergreen. My eyes gaze flew up to the top of the tree and slowly worked its way down until it came to a carving with the initials T.V. I had carved my initials in the tree about a year ago when i first came upon this place. The area was low, like a large ditch. I opened my bag and pulled out an apple. Despite it being almost as cold as the air, the apple was delicious. When I finished the apple, I stood up and threw the core as far as i could, watched it soar through the air, and land somewhere in the snow. I sat back down and closed my eyes.

"Its been a while since you've been here Toby."

I opened my eyes to a familiar face standing a few feet in front of me. I sighed when I realized who it was.

"Oliver..." I said. The person walked over to me and sat down next to me.

"How have you been?" Oliver asked me curiously as he shifted to get comfortable on the hard ground.

"Um... I've been OK..." I replied.

"What is bothering you?" He asked. I didn't answer him.

"Toby? Babe are you OK?" I looked at him for a second, his face seemed worried. I felt a tear flow down my cheek. And I lunged after him, trying to throw my arms around him. All I wanted to do was be in his arms. I fell on the snow and I realized that he wasn't real, Just another hallucination. I started crying harder.

"All I wanted was you! Is that to much to ask?!" I screamed at the sky. I sat up, threw my head in my lap and felt the tears flow down my face like a waterfall. I just needed to be alone...

I do not know how long I had been crying, My guess is about an hour or so. I stood up and walked over to the tree with my initials carved in it and stared at them for a few seconds before returning to my bag. I opened the bag and dug around until my hands found a bottle. I took the bottle out and read the name of the beverage to myself.

"Danzka vodka." I opened the bottle and drank some of the beverage. I know I am under aged but the vodka takes away some of the pain. It wasn't long until i started to feel the effects of the alcohol, It felt nice. I picked up my arm and rolled back the sleeve, revealing my damaged skin to the cold winter air. My arm was covered in scars from my wrist all the way up to my elbow. I counted the scars.

"twenty-two... Twenty-three... Twenty-four..." I sighed. I rolled my sleeve back down and took another sip of the vodka. I looked up at the trees towering over me and I couldn't help but think how lonely trees must be. Despite the fact that there are millions of them in this forest, I don't understand how they go through life without being loved. They all just stand so silently, waiting until they get chopped down or rotted out from the inside. How much pain they must be in, not being able to show love. I feel bad for them. I opened my bag again and took out five candles and a lighter. I placed the candles in a circle around the sides of the ditch. The ditch was small, big enough for about two people. The candles would be able to provide a small amount of warmth for a ditch of this size. After placing the candles, I bent down and pointed the lighter at the wick, my hand was hovering over the back of the candle to trap the heat. After a few clicks, a flame ignited at the tip of the wick of the candle. I did the same for the other four candles. It was only a few minutes before I felt the warmth of the candles. It was faint but i could still feel the heat. I opened my bag once more and pulled out a battery operated speaker and my iPhone. I plugged my phone into the speaker and clicked the 'shuffle' button which played any random song that i had on my phone.