I am Nothing

Chapter 23: Sacrifice

"This might be what finally breaks me." Lore places a hand on my cheek and tilts my head up so I'm looking into his gray eyes. 

"Then we'll put you back together love." I shake my head as a sob chokes me. 

"You know what he wants. He wants me. I can only think of one way to protect the clan." Lore doesn't understand. He's never been through this. Frantically I look over at Duke. His face is grim as he brushes his thumb over the top of my hand. I can't say it. I beg him with my eyes and he nods slightly before looking at Lore. 

"We'll have to give ourselves to him willingly. It's the only way he won't come back again. We'll have to swear on the goddess." Lore pales and I release their hands to cover the sound of my sobs. I drop my eyes and look down at Juliet's bedspread. The comforter is the color of grass. I'd laughed when Lore has picked it out but he said it would remind her of the sun and she would love it. He'd been right.  

"Lea?" Lore speaks my name and I'm jerked out of my thoughts as I look up at him. Our eyes connect and I know that he gets it now. We won't have the option of a rescue. We'll stay for the clan and let Lex do whatever he wants to us. Oh Goddess. What kind of life have you given me? 

................

As soon as my tears cease we head back downstairs. The clan is gathered and I see immediately who is missing. Sugar, Juliet, Romeo, Gaela's babies, Mack, Tonka, and Mickey. It kills me as I look at Kee and Glenna. Both of them have been through as much as I have but I'm glad they won't have to go through this. I look at Mal and Devil, they're sitting by Ree rocking Glenna as Kee rubs her head. They all look up when we come in and Coner hurries over to me with an anguished expression. He hugs me but I don't pull away as I whisper in his ear. 

"You informed the council?" He sighs as he whispers back. 

"I did and they hesitantly said we were on our own. It means war with them but you knew that." I nod and pull from his arms to lean against Lore and Duke, who are standing directly behind me. They rub my shoulders as Coner walks over and sits on the floor by Gaela. 

"We're going to the meeting." Most of the clan starts to protest except for Coner and my husbands. I raise my hands and they fall silent. "If the meeting goes as planned and I think it will then Duke, Lore and I won't be coming back....ever." Even Coner starts to protest but I cut him off. "This isn't a debate. I know he wants me more than anyone else. He'll make the deal and Coner will come back with everyone's that's missing. You WILL NOT SEARCH FOR US....EVER." They flinch at my Alpha command, knowing that they cannot disobey it. Mal looks up at me with the same look he had in his eyes after I killed Lucius except now I know what he's saying. His eyes are saying 'you've gone somewhere I can't follow'. He sets Glenna down on the couch then slides off so that he's kneeling on the floor. 

"May the Goddess watch over you Alphas." I bite my lip as every member of the clan does the same. Coner tilts his head at me before doing the same. They stay prone for a few moments then my brothers rise to their feet and envelope my husbands and I in a hug. My parents follow behind them.

DAWN

Coner walks beside me with a hand on my shoulder while my mates walk in front of us. I glance at the broken down barn and feel like it's the gateway to my personal hell. Well, it actually is. I clear my throat and glance to the lush field of grass surrounding us. It could be filled with Lex's minions but I know it isn't. He knows he's won. Needing the comfort I reach forward and grasp the backs of my mates t-shirts. They turn back to me before we enter the barn. They don't kiss me because we've already done that. We just gaze at each other a moment with our beasts in our eyes. Then they step to the sides as Coner drops his hand and I let go of their shirts. I lift my head up and walk into the barn.