Forty-Seven Uses for a Paperclip (Completed)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Leaving's worse than Staying

We don’t speak again until I’m almost half-way to Colton’s house (I managed to grab the keys from him on our way out of the mall).

“No.” Colton says. His voice is flat. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Colton,” I say softly, drumming my hands on the steering wheel. “You have to go home sometime.”

“But not right now.” He argues. He sounds tired and much older than his seventeen years. “Plus, I forgot my duffel at your house. What if I never get it back?”

I bury the urge to roll my eyes at his feeble excuses. “You practically live at my house; I doubt you’ll never get it back.”

Colton’s eyebrows dip as he tries to think of more reasons not to go home.

“We’re here.” I interrupt his thoughts and pull the car up beside the sidewalk.

A slightly stricken look crosses Colton’s face. He turns to me, his tone urgent. “Please, Cassidy, don’t make me go in there.”

My heart drops. I am such a mean girlfriend. But he has to face his fears sometime. I take in a deep breath and force my tone to remain strong and even, “You need to go inside, Colton. It’ll only get worse the longer you wait.” I lower my voice and add gently, “It’s going to be okay.”

“Right.” Colton attempts a brave smile and I’m reminded fleetingly of this same boy in school: always smiling, always laughing. How much of it was real?

“I’ll wait right here,” I say, compromising between leaving and staying, “until you tell me it’s okay to leave.”

Relief washes through Colton’s green eyes. “Okay.” He agrees quietly. Tenderly, he reaches over, cupping the back of my neck, and brings my face closer to his. He lays a loving kiss on my forehead, his lips soft. “Okay.” He repeats, opening the car door and stepping out into the grass. “Okay.”

His posture is stiff, his fists shoved in his pockets, as he climbs the front steps. He reaches his front door and turns, giving me one last, sad smile. He enters the house.

~&~&~&~&~&

I wait in my car for what might be minutes or could be hours. I lose track of time, just watching the front window of the Pearce’s house, wondering what is going on behind the closed front door.

Finally, there’s movement. Long, strong fingers pull open the front door and Colton slowly walks down the steps. His face is blank –almost haunted –as he approaches my car.

“He’s gone.” He says, unconsciously sliding into the passenger’s seat.

I search his eyes. They’re vacant, still bloodshot from his most likely tossing and turning filled night.

“Just gone.” He holds up a fist and opens it, revealing an empty hand in mid-air to symbolize his point. “Mom got mad. Dad got madder. And he just left.”

My lips part –my mind working frantically for something comforting to say –but no noise comes out. Only a strangled little peep. Colton turns to face me at the sound.

“And she’s so sad.” His voice cracks like a pre-pubescent boy but he ignores it. “She’s in there making meat loaf –which only Dad actually likes –and Danielle is holed up in her room. She wouldn’t even open the door when I knocked.”

He rubs his face roughly with his hand.

“It’s all my fault.” He utters the last bit so quietly I have to strain to hear him.

When I do, I jerk back instinctually and stare at Colton, telling him firmly. “No it’s not, Colton.”

“But if I hadn’t stood up to him-”

“Then he would have continued to verbally abuse you.” I interrupt. “He wouldn’t have stopped, Colton. He would have kept pushing and pushing until he got exactly what he wanted: perfect. No one is perfect, Colton.” I reach over and place my hand over his. “No matter how hard you try, he was never happy with you.”

I suddenly realize this is a very down-heartening pep talk. Quickly, I try to think of something not quite so depressing to say. “He never saw how funny you are, how your smile lights up an entire room –as cheesy as that sounds –or how much Danielle simply adores you. You and your mom have this easy relationship that shows how much you guys love each other. I’ve never met someone who doesn’t love you. Including me.”

Something inside me leaps when I realize what I’ve just said.

Gosh darnit it all. I just professed my love to Colton Pearce.

Shoot me now.

I tentatively glance over at the boy beside me.

Colton shows no obvious reaction at my accidental-confession. His face is still blank, although he seems to have lost his haunted expression. Perhaps my pep talk did some good.

Our matching green eyes meet. There’s something unreadable in his, though I’m sure mine are an open book. I did just tell him I love him, after all.

“Right back at ya.” He says, the familiar tinge of red creeping from the back of his neck.

With a jolt, I recognize this is his way of telling me that he loves me too. Not the most romantic, but his dad did just leave his mom. I’ll cut him some slack. It’s not as if my confession was oozing passion either.

“Do you want me to come inside?” I ask, breaking the strange silence that has descended within my vehicle.

For the first time since he went inside his house, Colton smiles. It’s a flimsy one –just one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other –but it’s a smile nonetheless.

“That’s okay. If I need you, I’ll call, okay?” Uncertainty flashes across his features, but his face relaxes when I smile.

“Okay.”

“I do need my gym bag, after all.” He says, that simple little smile returning. And, with a parting peck on my lips, he’s gone.

---------------

After this chapter, there's only one more left! Weird right? I'm almost done with this story :(  If you liked this chapter or thought it was so horrible you just wanted to claw your eyes out, don't hesitate to tell me :)