Relapse ★ Bucky Barnes

The Last Time

The courtroom was filled with a numerous amount of people, all of whom were in attendance the previous day. There was one person missing, though, one person who was more important to the entire trial than she believed herself to be.

Wanda searched around for her cousin from her spot beside Bucky, her green eyes still holding quite a majority of the emotions she had been subject to the day before. Her eyes were slightly swollen, as well as a bit red, and her skin was also flushed. She had put aside her emotions, however, in order to be there for Bucky. Watching the video the day before had caused Wanda a great deal of pain, but she knew Bucky hadn't been at fault for what had taken place in the video. He was merely a puppet in Hydra's game, and that's what she was there to prove. She just wished Marlena was there to help her prove it as well.

"Don't waste your time—she's not coming," Bucky said to Wanda, the tone of his voice pained.

Wanda looked at him, a frown pulling at the corner of her lips as she watched several tears fall out of his blue eyes and down his face.

Bucky had been in a horribly pained state since Ross uttered the words Raven Elite the day before, and watching Marlena and Wanda only made him feel worse. He hadn't known until yesterday that he had been responsible for the death of Marlena's father, and the revelation of it had never made him feel so terribly regretful about his victims. It was because of him that Marlena and Mason were without a father; it was because of him that Wanda was without an uncle; it was because of him that three of the people he cared about most in his life were living in such a horrendous state of irreversible pain.

"She'll be here, Buck," Wanda tried to assure him.

Bucky met her eyes. "What makes you so sure? If I was her I wouldn't show up either—if I was her I'd never wanna see me again. Maybe it's better for everyone if they do lock me up."

"Why would you say that?" Wanda forced out as she tried to hold back her own tears.

"Because it's true." Bucky sniffed and wiped the tears from his face, "You'd all be so much better off without me around, especially Marlena; I've made her life a living hell since the day I met her and I only continue to make it worse the longer I stick around."

Wanda couldn't hold back her tears as she listened to him speak. His words sent a dull ache into her chest and without even thinking she reached out to grab his hand in her own, squeezing tightly as if to give him the slightest bit of reassurance. "You don't realize how many people really do love you, Bucky, and Marlena is one among the many."

"I think yesterday might have changed that for her, but I don't really blame her," Bucky spoke quietly. "I'd hate me, too, if I was her."

Wanda could feel the overwhelming amount of pain radiating off of Bucky and she released his hand before turning her attention towards the front of the room, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her tear-stained face. Not much else was allowed to be said after that, as the trial's second and last day had began.

Bucky didn't pay much attention to anything being done or said in his defense. His mind was elsewhere, more specifically, his mind and thoughts were locked on a certain member of the Claire family—Marlena. He couldn't help but feel an immense amount of pain and regret as he thought about her and what he had taken away from her all those years ago. He seemed to feel this particular loss much deeper than he felt the loss of his other victims, but that was solely because the loss effected someone he cared so deeply about.

Seeing Marlena yesterday and the way she had reacted had broke his heart. He had never seen such pain in her eyes, not even when she lost her mother, and to know that her pain was because of him tore him apart. Never would Bucky regret falling in love with Marlena, but he did regret allowing her to fall in love with him. There was only pain and guilt associated with loving someone like Bucky, and he believed he had witnessed such a thing during his relationship with Marlena—the relationship that had kept him from completely falling apart at the seams.