Relapse ★ Bucky Barnes

Emotional Turmoil of Life

Marlena and Sam sat on the couch in the loft of their hotel room. Peggy's funeral had been over for several hours now, and the two of them had been hanging out in their hotel room for the past hour and a half. Steve had wandered off somewhere; Marlena wasn't sure where either. Sam had only informed her that he needed some time alone, which didn't exactly settle well with Marlena. Despite what had happened between the two of them at the church, Marlena still wanted to be there for him. Steve was her friend—her very best friend—and she didn't exactly feel comfortable knowing he was running around the city in such an emotional state.

The incident at the church had been weighing heavily on Marlena's mind since she had returned back to the hotel with Sam. Steve's actions had taken her by surprise. He had kissed her, and that was something she never would have expected him to do. She believed it to have been done in the heat of the moment, but Natasha's words regarding Steve's apparent feelings for Marlena made it harder for her to accept that it had been just a "heat of the moment" kind of thing. She wanted to talk to him about it, but he was nowhere to be found. He had left his phone in the hotel room as well, which eliminated any hope of contacting him.

As Marlena sat, her thoughts still lingering on what had happened, she couldn't help but feel as if she had betrayed Bucky. For almost two years, Bucky's affection had been among the only thing she had ever known. Yes, Bucky had technically ended their relationship when he left nothing but a tear-stained note for her to find, but that didn't make a bit of a difference to Marlena; Bucky would always have her heart no matter what happened between the two of them. And though Marlena hadn't been the one to instigate the kiss, she still felt it was wrong. Just the feeling of someone else's lips against hers felt wrong, regardless of whether or not that person was Steve—a person with whom she was very familiar and comfortable with.

Sam nudging Marlena was what tore her from her thoughts. She looked over at him to see a rather perturbed expression on his face. Sam had noticed something wrong with her since the two had left the funeral, though he recognized that it was different than what had been going on with her during the past month or so. He had noticed something different with Steve as well, but he had more skill in the department of hiding his feelings, so he couldn't be too sure. He could only assume that something had happened between them while they were in the church, and he had been itching to know if his assumptions could be confirmed.

"I've been calling your damn name for like three minutes, but you're so consumed by your thoughts to pay attention to me," Sam remarked.

Marlena rolled her eyes and removed the box of Cheez-Its from his hands, shoving a handful into her mouth. "The world doesn't revolve around you, Wilson," she countered with a mouth full of food.

He snatched the box back from her, placing it behind his back so she couldn't reach it. He needed information from her, and he needed to make sure that information wasn't interrupted by her obnoxious chewing. "I need you to tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

"What you need to do is give me back the damn box, you fatass," she grumbled.

"I might after you answer me."

Marlena sighed and slumped down in her seat. She could tell by sifting through his mind that he was onto what had happened between her and Steve back at the church, but she didn't exactly want to talk about it, at least not before she talked about it with Steve himself. "Nothing's wrong, aside from the fact that my mom's dead, I killed a bunch of innocent people, and the love of my life left me in an attempt to keep me safe, when we all know I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

Sam gave her a dumb look. "I am one second away from punching you in the face just to test that theory. You think I don't know when you sneak your way into my mind? You know damn well what I'm referring to, so I suggest you tell me."