"Ooh uncle you said bad words. That's one dollar for each word." Her neck rolled.
"What I told you about that? You ain't no owl. Been done broke ya' neck." He said placing three dollars in her hand. What he said was funny, but since he kind of came for me and I am petty, I didn't laugh. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. You know when you laugh at a dude joke once, he all of a sudden think he Katt Williams or somebody.
"Cuss in my presence one more time little boy. One more! Try me if you want too. You kids ain't too old to get smacked. Doing all that damn cussing like y'all grown."
Sarye&Amun internally: But we are!
"Okay. I'm sorry mama."
"Yeah me too." He said. I rolled my eyes. I hate when people coat-tail my apologies.
"Uncle can I have your phone please? Can you put it on Spongebob pretty please?" She pouted and blinked with her long, pretty lashes.
"Of course baby." He took his phone app and put on the show for her, handing her the earphones to go with it.
"So how's college? You're not messing with no basketball groupies are you?" Mama asked.
He blushed chuckling. "Nah momma. You know I'm saving myself."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
My ears perked up. Yeah right. College plus athletes equals lots of girl and lots of sex. Even I knew that.
"Oh yeah. This boy is a twenty-one year old virgin. You don't see that too often." Okay, so I guess I was wrong. Even though I'm being a low-key hater, I could admit that he is handsome, fine even, so to hear that he is still a virgin at this age, was unbelievable and pretty incredible.
"Wow that's great." I said. Fully complimenting him for the first time since I met him. That was something to be proud of.
"It's nothing. It's really not as hard as you think, even though it's been harder since I started school, but it's still bearable. Just leaning on God to be honest." By this time I was glad that he had given her earphones so she didn't have to hear this conversation, although I wish I didn't either.
"Where is the food?" I thought out loud. It's been over fourty-five minutes now.
We were in an "up-scale" IHOP and had ordered from a secret menu. I had no idea an IHOP like this existed, but I was eager to try the food.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The waitress must've heard me somehow, because moments after my statement, the waitress walked and gently placed the breakfast feast on the table.
"Anything else?" The waitress Jessica kindly spoke, with a small smile on her face.
"No thank you." I stated and Mr. Hazel and mama commented the same after.
Lai's eyes lit up as she saw the food. She quickly put the phone down and stared at the food hungrily waiting for prayer. Mama was strict when it came to that kind of stuff.
Everyone looked at me expectantly and I looked away nervously. I didn't really know what to say.
I cleared my throat before speaking. "Dear God, thank you for the food Amen."
Again, everyone looked at me like I had three eyeballs.
"Sorry ole prayer we'll work on that. I'm hungry though, so Amen." Mama said before taking a spoonful of her shrimp and grits into her mouth.
I wish she would chill on me.
"This really is fancy. I can't believe I wasn't hip."
"That's why it's called a secret menu Einstein." Ugh. Here comes dumb ass back at it again with the irrelevant remarks.
"You know what's not a secret?"
"Nah what?" He responded.
"That you're annoying as hell. Nigga leave me alone." I sassed rolling my eyes. I was tired of his ass. Mama was working my nerves too, to be frank.
"Say that word one more time. I'mma slap you so hard, your eyebrows gon' slide up your forehead. Try me. You been cruisin' for a bruisin' since we got here." Mama threatened. She such a sweet lady but some things she does not tolerate and cursing in front of her was one of em. I guess that never changed. I never did it when I was younger but I thought me being 20 would make a difference. Obviously not. Jokes on me.
I looked at the window trying not to laugh. Who the hell says cruisin' for a bruisin' anymore?
Mr. Hazel however, was not as controlled as I was because he began laughing and didn't stop 'til five minutes later.
It was not that damn funny. 😒
"You still hanging with those drug dealing knuckle heads?"
"Of course ma. I knew them since jit days, I couldn't switch up."
"I like them boys, I just wish they would stop that foolishness. That's an easy way to cut your life short."
"Yeah I hear you. I talk to them about it, but they 'bout hard headed as heck. I can't get through to them."
"That's not what I saw when I walked up." I mumbled. This boy was trying to keep up this good-boy front and it was killing me.
"What was that?" He questioned with an annoyed expression diplayed on his features.
"You heard me." I retorted. He was sitting right next to me.
"I'd rather sell it than buy it."
"You didn't even sell it to me idiot. You acted like you were trying to get my number or something."
"How when you don't even have a phone?"
"You didn't know that then."
"But I know now."
"Lord help these kids. Since y'all acting like y'all can't get along, you are for sure going to that banquet with him tommorrow where y'all can bicker and bond to y'all hearts desire."
"But mama!"
"But nothing. You're going and that's it. What I say goes, you better act like you know and never forgot."
I huffed picking at my food. My appetite was no longer existent and I am forced to go on a make-shift date with this dickwad.
