Chasing The Sky ( #Wattys2016 )

XIV // Not Worth it !

So I insisted them to go home and take rest.

After a lot of arguments they finally agreed.

Before leaving they told me my friends would be arriving soon.

So, here I was waiting for her, and everyone else.

"Finally, you fucker, you almost gave us heart attacks." Tyler burst into the room with everyone else trailing behind I smiled at them but it dropped as soon as I realized Skylar wasn't here.

"H-Hello guys!" I said. "Umm... guys where is --"

"So, we heard you are all fit and fine now." Leo cut me off.

"Yeah. I am better. But where is --"

"We were so worried!" Mae cut in and I frowned.

"I know! I am sorry. But --"

"She is not coming!" April's voice reached my ears which was almost below a whisper.

"W-What?" I let out and turned to her. Her eyes were fixed on the floor.

"She is not coming back. Ever, Chase." April said lifting up her gaze to look at me.

Immediately I started shaking my head.

"No-no ...Nowhere is she? Is she alright? She is okay, right? " I choked out not able to think straight.

"Chase-- Chase! " Tyler said as I started getting up." Chase listen to me." He said as he pushed me back on my bed gently and I tried my best to fight him.

I want see her now!

"Chase, she is okay! She survived and she is perfectly fine." Mae said.

"T-Then?"

"She left."

"What do y-you mean she l-left?"

Instead of answering me April handed me an envelope.

I looked at the envelope as a silent tear fell from my eye.

"She didn't say much. She didnt require to. We all could see how much she was suffering. Just said she needed this. We tried to stop her... we did... But she told us to respect her decision. So, we did! She was a mess when she left Chase ... You have to understand. Don't blame her please... " April cried as Tyler consoled her.

"You k-know I would n-never...never do that. Where did she go?" I asked.

"She didn't tell." someone replied but I was in too much shock that I didn't even have it in myself to acknowledge the fact that she has indeed left.

"S-she used to come to meet you every day sitting beside your bed all night. She w-wouldn't say anything. It was like the old Skylar was lost ... She wouldn't eat or s-sleep... And by chance if she slept, she would end up c-crying. She had nightmares C-Chase ... She was broken and she needed it..." April said crying silently.

My heart ached... And my body started trembling with pain for her...

With shaking hands, I opened the envelope to find a paper with curvy scribble, a letter in sky's handwriting.

My Chase,

First of all you know what I want to do ?

I want to grab your face and slap you hard, then after knocking some sense into you I want to kiss you senseless, till you and me can't breathe , till you know how much I love you.

I am grateful, thankful and every synonym of those words to you for doing what you did for me.

I know when you are going to read this I would have already left and I know even though I will tell not to look for me, you will search everywhere, ask everyone and try your hardest. But please Chase don't do it.

You will be angry beyond limits you would be hurt and I hate hurting you, but Chase you have to know I left because that is what I needed, that is what we need.

I owe my life to you Chase but you have to know you should not have done that. I told you I was not worth it. I know you were protecting me and even though you saved my life, seeing you like that, was close to death to me. It broke me to see you like that.

I told you, if anything happened to you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself and I know you would never want me to take the blame on myself. But I do, I do take the blame on myself and that's why I left.

Promise me one thing? Promise me that you wouldn't hold yourself back and start moving on, I am not saying it would be easy but you have to do this for me one last time. Promise me that you will live your life the way you always wanted, graduate from college, achieve your dreams and find a perfect girl.

Hopefully, you find a girl who won't annoy the hell out of you and love you back unconditionally like you deserve.

I love you Chase. I do with everything I have or everything I will ever have. But you deserve much much better than that... then me.

I cherish each and every moment with you. But maybe we are not meant to be....

Don't look out for me, Chase.

And never think I left because of you or any other bullshit.

Never forget I love you so much and it was a privilege to be loved by you.

Yours,

Sky.

And all my Shit broke loose and I lost it. Tears started streaming down my face as I cried hard.

No sky no... You shouldn't have left. I told you are worth every Chase and you are worth all the pain to come.

Sky ...

You are what I want ...

And you are worth it.

And I won't promise you anything!

Because you have ruined me for anyone else.

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