What You Don't Know (Peterick AU) [COMPLETED]

2.

Patrick's POV

The next day I get home sobbing my eyes out. Pete found me again in the library at lunch and spent 10 minutes insulting me and kicking me when no one was around. If that wasn't bad enough him and his friends found me after school and did it again so now I feel like a useless idiot. I am a useless idiot though so I guess they just showed me who I am.

Once again like so many times lately I just wanna cut myself but I've only ever done that once. One cut on my wrist showed me how bad it is and I swore to never stoop that low and do that to myself again. I don't wanna do that to myself and every other jerk in school the satisfaction of me spilling my blood for them. They don't deserve my blood or my tears.

Ethan bangs on my door for a couple of minutes telling me dinners ready then begging me to come eat. When I don't reply he gives up and goes down to join our parents because he knows I'm just not up for it. They're the perfect family and then there's me. The one that doesn't fit in and is sitting here crying and talking myself down from self harm while they enjoy their fancy meal.

Ethan comes banging again an hour later but I still don't reply no matter how much he begs. Eventually he sighs and tells me he's left food my the door for me and leaves. I wait until I hear his bedroom door close then run over to grab the plate he's left then slam the door shut again.

We have a pretty good arrangement with this. Whenever I'm too annoyed or upset to be able to deal with our parents he always brings me food so I don't starve. I've never starved myself or had an eating disorder but I know Ethan loves me and cares about me so he wants to prevent it. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him and a lot of the time he's the main reason I know I need to stay alive.

Unlike our parents who mock me for it, Ethan respects my decision to be vegetarian so he doesn't bring any meat. Because of this the food he brings is usually just vegetables and salad he's scraped off his plate. I don't know how he can look like a bodybuilder since he hates vegetables but there are a lot of things I don't understand about him.

Today it's a pile of salad, a couple of pieces of bread, a chunk of cheese and one of Ethan's candy bars. He has a huge stash of them under his bed so sometimes he gives me some with the food. Maybe he hears he crying or sees me at school and he knows I'm super upset so he gives me one to try to cheer me up.

Ethan sucks at emotions so he can't comfort me or give me any advice much but he tries. I know if I ever need to talk he'll listen and try to give the best advice and support he can. I don't like unloading my problems on him though so I don't tell him unless somethings really bad and he respects that. Instead he gives me anything he can and leaves me in peace until I'm feeling better or ready to talk.

Since he forgot a fork as usual I grab the pair of chopsticks I always use to eat with and start on the salad. Ethan doesn't think about it since he rarely eats with anything other then his hands. I saw him try to eat Mac and cheese with his hands once, it didn't end well but I admire his dedication.

The salads good and cutting cheese with chopsticks weird but I figure it out so overall the dinners relatively good. Sometimes he can only sneak me up an apple or something so when I get so much it's always nice. He tries his best but sometimes he can't get away with sneaking a whole plate of food upstairs so he does what he can. It might not seem like a lot but the effort means everything to me especially since he's the only one who acts like he gives a shit.

When I finish I drink some water from my drink bottle that I always fill up at school. I stash the candy bar in my school bag to eat later then stare out the window and consider what I should do now.

As always a couple of minutes later I see Ethan jump out his window and run across the lawn. He stops when he sees me at the window and waves to make me smile then he runs off down to his girlfriends house.

Now I'm totally alone. I might not spend much time with him but it's comforting to have Ethan next door. He's always going off with his girlfriend and friends though so it's a pretty lonely life. In times like these I wish I had friends more then anything in the world. I don't want to be popular or anything, I just want one person to talk to who likes me. They don't have to be the perfect person or anything but someone to pass the time with would be great. Even if it's only sending each other memes occasionally it would make me happier than anything.

After half an hour of moping and being bored I suck it up and grab my laptop. Thankfully it's required to have one at school which is the only reason I have it since my parents don't give a shit.

After a few minutes of searching I find a website called talkafriend.com so I sigh and go on. It like a site to message your friends or meet new friends, kinda like a cross between messenger and omegle. It seems creepy and I don't wanna get hit on by some creepy old man but who cares, I'm lonely and bored and have nothing to loose.

I don't know what to do so I type SoulPunk182 for a username, named after a song I've written and Blink-182, a band I love. I use my normal password of MikeyfuckingWay then sign up.

I can either choose a friend to talk to or there's a choice to find a friend so I click it feeling like an idiot for doing this. After a second of loading a chat comes up and I'm apparently talking to a random dude.

MrEmoPanda - Hey

After a couple of seconds of staring I put my hands down and reply

SoulPunk182 - Hi

I'm really starting to doubt this now but what the heck, why shouldn't I just go for it? I can always disconnect and leave the chat if the guys mean or I don't like this. It's not like I've lost anything by this and if it all fails I've got the same amount of friends I started with, zero.

I sit there as the seconds drag on and I don't know what to do. I hope this guy has something to say soon because I'm so awkward just like in real life so this isn't going well.