Don't Try To Make Me Smile!// [#Wattys2016]

14: Cliff kiss

Nathan's lips were..... Oh shit! I was too confused to explain how they felt, I didn't even give in to the kiss. I was just motionless.

"Don't talk about jumping down that cliff again" hr whispered into my face as it was still very close to mine.

"Or what?" I managed to say back.

"I'll kiss you again" he said as he brought up his hand and cupped my cheek with it.

"Stop punishing yourself for things you can't, you have to move on"

His face was still very close to mine and I was beginning to wonder why I didn't scream at him for kissing me. If it was some other guy especially Eric I would have cut his head off and why exactly am I thinking of Eric in this kind of situation? I should be planning his murder.

"I can't move on, there are so many things holding me back" talking about these things. They were forgiving my father and about my ex boyfriend that I never wish to see or talk about. Maybe? There are only two things but they weigh a lot.

"I'll help you, I'm here, I'm right here for you and I'm not going anywhere"

Those were the same words he told me and he wasn't here, so there's no way I'm believing that shit. Why didn't I have words to throw back at Nathan? Why didn't I have words to say to him. Just like that guy, my ex boyfriend.

They always left me speechless, they always had their way. I was always sort of vulnerable with Nathan. From the first time I met him when he bashed my car, I had give him my keys without much protest, I allowed him to give me a ride. I went to his party, I gave in to cleaning and hanging out with the guys, I even allowed him to hug me and just now I allowed him to kiss me and caress my face and actually it should stop, I can't do this especially when he reminds me so much of him.

I stood up immediately making the already awkward situation more awkward and Nathan stood up with me.

"You okay?"

"Yea I have to go, I want to watch EJ NYC. I love to see Sanaz and Kyle fight"

"EJ NYC?" Nathan looked confused.

"It's a reality show on E! You know EJ Johnson from #rich kids of Beverly hills, he's moving his career to New York with his....." And then I stopped realizing I was talking too much and it annoys me that Nathan always listen to whatever crap I was saying, if it was Eric he would have shut me up while I was still at reality show.

"Whatever bye!" I said quickly walking away but I stopped when I realized I didn't bring my car and I'll have to pick it up but then I left my keys at him so I should just ask Nathan for a ride.

"You need a ride?" He asked when I turned back and I nodded avoiding his eyes, I can't explain why they just started looking familiar.
Throughout the ride home I kept thinking about why Nathan kissed me. Did he like me? Or he actually did it to shut me up. But no matter how much I thought I'll look good to Nathan I knew deep down he wasn't my type...... Well not anymore. I'll go with the saying 'Don't judge a book by its cover' Nice guys are really not that nice.

************************************
Next morning.

"How about this white top?" Juliana handed me a shirt that I really disliked the style.

"No thanks" I said immediately. I was sitting on my bed, dressed in a robe and just straight out of the shower. I had just come out from the bathroom and met Juliana in my room smiling and wriggling her perfectly drawn brows at me. She placed a bunch of clothes on my bed and said she was going to dress me up for school. Which was a really wrong idea.