"I'm not suicidal,
But if a car came while I was crossing the street, I don't think I would move out of the way.
And if someone held a gun to my head, I wouldn't exactly beg for my life.
In fact,
I would laugh at them and tell them to go for it.
No,
I'm not suicidal.
But if I had the opportunity to die without having to kill myself ,
I would probably take it."
It 12:31pm and my thoughts have taken over again, as much as I'd like to say they are happy thoughts of my family an friends telling me they care about me and making me feel good about my self and my boyfriend talking to me on the phone telling me he loves me, I can't cause that's a lie. Going through my mind is how nobody accepts me for me, nobody would care if I went missing (I should know I tried), and my boyfriend isn't on the phone telling me he loves me but he's telling me he is no longer mine and has found someone prettier, my blade is on my desk and I am straining myself from picking it up and making it glide across my skin, I'm am fighting with my own thoughts to not open my medicine box and take every single pill in there and to do that I write. I'm not a good writer but I do it to try and make my life some what normal, to try and ease my thoughts and get rid of the demons controlling my mind instead of feeding them but who knows how much longer I can continue this fight? I don't know how much longer I can go on with my fake smile plastered on my face and fake laugh on display, with the lack of food to try and loose weight and my pills and blade seem to be my only sign of escape.
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The Little Things
कविताA collection of poems, quotes, stories, and thought provoking paragraphs. Some are my very own work and others have been spoken to me in a time of need that I related to so closely and that help me so much that I just can't wait to share them with...
