P.S. I hate you! (lesbian story)

Clarity

How is this possible? How can she make me feel this way? Why do I have to be in love...with her?

Elisa tortured herself with questions as her chest swelled under the intensity of unleashed feelings. All the suppressed emotions washed in waves over her, making her feel as if she was drowning in heartache. It was bittersweet really, she knew now whom was her heart yearning for, but also she knew that Isabelle could break her so very easily and it frightened her, it chilled her to her bones, because she knew that's what's probably going to happen. She fell for her, how or why, she didn't know, but she did, and that was her undeniable, painful truth. Elisa cried herself to sleep that night.

 ***

Isabelle was happily getting ready for the new day at school. She sighed excitedly and couldn't stop smiling. Brigitte eyed her suspiciously, Isabelle was never this chirp in the morning. 

"Mademoiselle vous êtes très heureuse ce matin. (You seem quite happy this morning.)" Brigitte exclaimed eyeing Isabelle who was getting dressed. 

"I just feel good this morning Brigitte, that's all." she smiled at her maid. 

"Mhmm." Brigitte mumbled still looking at her suspiciously. 

"Ah lighten up Brig. That crease doesn't suit you. You'll get more wrinkles." Isabelle said. "Come on, I am hungry." she added, her smile never faltering.

"Elle est vraiment bizzare ce matin. Qu'est qui ce passe...? (She is acting really weird this morning. What is happening...?)" Brigitte muttered under her breath, following her young mistress.

Isabelle ate her breakfast quickly thinking of new ways to tease Elisa today. I just can't wait to see her blush and squirm. She is just so cute...Umm did I just think she's cute? Crap...I have to focus on destroying her...but her cuteness is so distracting...crap, not again, Isabelle shook her head at her conflicting thoughts. 

She picked up her stuff and left for school. Her plan was progressing well, Elisa was giving in more and more each day. She just needed a bit more of a push and she will be at her mercy. Isabelle figured she would seduce her and then throw it all in Elisa's face. She wasn't sure how to do that yet, but she was happy that the first part of her plan was advancing quite well.

However despite Isabelle convincing herself she was doing this just to get back at her, her "revenge" was becoming less of a motive each day. She would catch herself just thinking about Elisa's cute blushing and how she steals glances at her when she thinks Isabelle's not looking. It made her heart swell with some unknown emotion, she just wanted to make her smile and blush everyday. She didn't like Elisa's boyfriend, that Aidan, stealing Elisa's attention away from her yesterday. She was just in the midst of teasing her, and then he had to ruin the moment. 

Isabelle got to school in no time, since thinking about Elisa consumed her every awake moment now. She smiled happily again at the thought of seeing the beautiful blonde. Her heart started racing faster as she approached history classroom. She wiped her smile forcefully off her face, and set her indifferent ice queen mask in place. She didn't want Elisa to notice how excited she was to see her. 

She scanned the room, but Elisa was nowhere to be seen. She's probably just late, Isabelle sat at their desk, trying to keep her cool. However, she was fidgeting nervously with her pen, not able to calm her heartbeat. The class started, and she still wasn't here. Isabelle sighed in disappointment, her heart gradually regaining its usual rhythm.

Where is she...?, Isabelle wondered, loosing every interest in the class. 

She didn't see Elisa the whole day. She was looking for her everywhere, and every flash of blonde hair made her heart race, and then hurt in disappointment when it wasn't her. Isabelle didn't question her feelings, she couldn't, instead she convinced herself it was just so she can make sure her revenge is on the right track. Her warped logic didn't make any sense, not even to her, and she knew it somewhere deep deep down, but she could never let her conscious self admit that.