Hopelessly (Sequel to Endlessly)

Chapter 8

I hugged him with everything I had in me.

"What would I do without y—"

My phone rang, cutting me off. I took it out of my bag and frowned when I saw my mum's name on the screen. I answer quickly and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Mum?"

"Hazel!" I heard a sob, making my heart stop in my chest.

"Mum! Is it dad? Is he alright?" My stomach twisted in knots. I was terrified of her answer.

"He... He's still alive, but he's not doing so well." Another painful sob. "You need to come now."

"My plane is leaving tomorrow." I replied, biting my lip.

"No, Hazel, you misunderstand me... You need to come now. You need to come say goodbye. And I don't think you'll have the chance to if you leave tomorrow."

I pale and sat down as my legs gave up on me. I felt as if my breath has been knocked out of my lungs, as if my blood has been drained out of my body. Tears welled up in my eyes once again and this time, I don't try to stop them from rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm coming, mum."

I hung up and Niall is instantly by my side, eyes frantic and desperate.

"Hazel, what's going on, what can I do?"

"Book me a flight for today. If it doesn't work, tell my management that if I don't get there in time, I will not sing ever again."

"In time for what?"

I bit my lip and chocked on a sob. "To say goodbye."

I rushed into the hospital, leaving a small crowd of paparazzi outside, blocked by the hospital's security. I rushed to the third floor, not bothering with the elevators and I ran to room 367. I pushed the door open, but the room was empty.

I gasped for air, feeling a panic attack swell in my chest. No, God no, please. Please. A nurse entered the room, sending me a puzzled look, and picked up the used hospital gown. I backed up until my back hit the wall behind me and slid down to the floor. The unknown nurse let came close to me and crouched down.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked, looking worried.

"My dad... my dad isn't here anymore..." I sobbed. "I didn't get to say goodbye?"

"The man in this room? With pancreatic cancer?" I nodded. "They brought him to the ICU after his intervention."

I let out a breath of relief, my breathing still jagged and shallow. My panic attack hasn't yet subside but I knew that I had to fight it or now. I needed to get to my dad.

"What room?"

"It's on the second floor. Room 289. Do you want me to come with—"

"Thank you!" I cut her off and left the room running out.

I took the stairs once more to get to the room. I barged in, tears falling quickly down my cheeks as I took in the sad scene. My dad was asleep, with tubes inside his throat and IVs in his arms, and my mum was weeping beside him. My barely healed heart ripped to shreds once more. I covered my mouth with my hand, trembling so much I could feel it in my bones. The ache, the loss. I felt it once before, with Harry. Now I have to feel it all over again. The pain, the sadness.

Death is selfish. Not only do you die alone, but the people you leave behind will most probably suffer. And even worse, the grieving family will want that person back to fill the hole. I don't want to lose my dad; I don't want him to die, even though I know it's what's best for him. There's nothing more the doctors can do and he's suffering terribly. I wish I could just let him go and be happy that he won't be in pain anymore. But I can't because I'm selfish.

So I stood there in the doorframe, gazing over at my poor mother who was about to lose the love of her life and at my father, who looked already dead, as pale and fragile as he looked. I stood there until the nurse I didn't even notice standing next to my mother started to take the tube out.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I snapped. "He needs to breathe!"

The nurse looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, but he's about to wake up, and the tube is very irritating for his throat. And... You might want to let him have his final words..."

Her words cut my breath away and she finished her job, passing next to me with a sorry smile. I walked to the other side of the bed and sat down facing my mother, who just took her husband's hand. I took his other hand and we both waited like that, not talking.

What seemed to me like hours passing were only a few minutes when he finally woke up. It was a very slow and painful awakening. First, his eyes fluttered, trying to adjust to the white bright lightening of his room. Then, he tried moving his head but gave up in a wince, the movement obviously asking too much out of his beaten-up body. To me, cancer was never a question of being strong enough to fight it, you can't fight against it, you can't fight radiation, or chemotherapy. Cancer is about the odds. What are the odds of surviving? For my dad, there were none. But he still did chemotherapy, just to get a bit more time with us, and now he's paying for it. Time that you wasted away in England. Guilt wrecked my stomach. I should have never even left. Fück everything.

"Dad." I whispered, feeling like the sky was about to come crashing down on me.

"Ha-zel." He muttered back, his voice hoarse and weak.

I started crying again. So many things to say, so little time. Dad shushed me and weakly squeezed my hand.

"I don't want to lose you."

"We don't get a choice for everything, sweetie."

I furiously wiped my cheeks. "I know, but this doesn't make it harder."

My mum smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Why don't you say goodbye?" I asked her, trying to prolong my time.

"I already gave my farewells, Hazel. This is your time."

I started sobbing uncontrollably. "Please don't leave. I'm so sorry about everthing."

"I should be the one saying sorry sweet girl. I don't have many regrets in life, but never getting to see my grandchild is one of them. Almost disowning you too, and never getting to walk you down that aisle looking like a goddess to Harry."

I almost snort at his mention.

"You hate him."

"But you love him."

I shook my head. "I don't."

My dad smiled knowingly. "If you say so."

"I don't want to talk about Harry when you're about to die." I spat out, feeling a gross sob rising in my chest.

"I know you'll marry him one day. Maybe not now, but one day. And I'll be up there, watching over you and smiling, proud of my little girl."

I cried more as his breathing grew shallow and more erratic. I held on to his hand as if I could keep him here but I knew he was slowly slipping away.

"I love you, girl." He whispered.

"I love you more." I cried.

He smiled mysteriously and sighed.

"If you say so."

I smiled too, until the machines started going crazy. I sobbed and sobbed for him to stay, but I knew he was already gone. A nurse came in to close the machines.

He was gone.

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for the support, I love you all xx Don't forget to vote and comment :)