Hopelessly (Sequel to Endlessly)

Chapter 7

*Hazel Murray*

The shower's water was scalding hot, as were Niall's kisses all over my body.

"Niall, stop." I giggled. "You may have some crazy ass Irish stamina, but I don't. Let me recover and take my shower in peace."

Niall pouted but soon smiled cheekily. I shook my head at him and he laughed, kissing lightly my cheek before hugging me tightly against his firm naked body. It should have been awkward, but it wasn't.

"Niall, I don't want to make this weird, but I want to know what this means to you. I don't want any of us getting hurt because we're not on the same page.

"Honestly?" He asked, and I nodded. "I've been wanting to be with you for so long, I guess I needed to get you out of my system."

I laughed. "Did you?"

"Meh, not really. But for so many reasons, we can't be together as in a couple. It's unfair to Harry, it's unfair to the band, it's unfair to you, and it's unfair to me. So, I'm not asking for anything. I'm not waiting for you to love me back like I do, because I know you love me. Maybe we could just have... an arrangement, I guess?" Niall said, raising an eyebrow. "Something that doesn't jeopardize anybody's friendship, especially ours, but still help us get some. Anyways, I don't think we'd be good as a couple. But friends with benefits sounds great." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and wrapped his arms around my bare waist.

I bit my lip, unsure. "I don't see how an 'arrangement' would be more fair to everybody than a real relationship."

"Nobody but us would know."

"Okay, what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just you and me in a bed when we want it, no obligations, just fun and relaxing."

"I would hardly call last night 'relaxing'." I giggled, kissing his chest. "But I think it could work. Let's just put some rules, just because this can't just be a wild shit."

"What do you propose?"

"If you have sex with somebody else, you tell me and you wear protection. Same goes for me."

"Acceptable. I say we just continue sharing everything as we did before. Okay, another rule: no telling anybody about any of this to anyone, okay?"

"Obviously. Next, I think we should also tell the other if we catch real feelings."

Niall frowned. "But you already know that I love you."

"Yeah, and you know I love you, but I mean that if you start feeling as if you're really in love with me, if you start wanting more, you tell me, and we stop this. Like I said, I want nobody getting hurt by this. Nobody." I bit my lip. "Everybody got hurt way too much because of me theses days. I need a break, I need simple and easy." I said bitterly.

Niall made a mock of offense. "Oh, so you think I'm easy?!"

I started laughed and pushed him.

"Oh, you are so on!"

We started fighting in the shower, laughing and stealing hungry kisses. I could tell he was already getting worked up as he pressed me against the shower wall. I groaned.

"Niaaaaaaall."

He chuckled. "You're naked and wet and pressed up against me. What else did you think was going to happen?"

"If you're going to get a boner every time we wrestle, this might be a problem."

We laughed together until his doorbell rang. Niall kissed my neck, sucking gently but I pushed him away.

"Niall, somebody's at the door!"

"Let them go away, I'm occupied!" He whined.

"Niall!"

"What?"

"Go now!"

"But I—"

Another voice boomed in his flat, making us freeze.

"Niall?"

I looked at him, panicked.

"It's Harry! You need to get out. Distract him, I'll go in my room or something!" I hissed.

Niall nodded frantically, getting out of the shower and drying himself rapidly.

"Yeah, Haz, I'm in the shower, gimme a minute!" He turned towards me and whispered. "As soon as the coast is clear, you go. I'd like to keep my head and my shoulders attached today."

I rolled my eyes and muttered drama queen under my breath, though I was as terrified as him. Harry can't find out.

Niall left the bathroom and as soon as I heard 'Hey mate, what brings you here', I snuck out of the bathroom and ran to my room with only a towel wrapped around me. I reached the door and scrambled into my room, stressfully find a shirt and some shorts to put on. I quickly dried my hair with my towel until it was just humid and jumped into my bed with my phone just as I heard the words 'I need to speak to her' outside my door. I widened my eyes and slid under the covers, trying to not look flustered.

The door opened, letting a tired-looking Harry in.

"Hey." He whispered, his voice raspy and deep, making me shiver.

'Hey..." I squeaked out.

"So... we need to talk."

I bit my lip. "Harry, I really don't think we have anything left to discuss..."

"There is. Listen, I want to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come onto you like this, not when your father isn't doing well, not after all the shit happened. It was inconsiderate and disrespectful, and I apologize."

I stayed silent. Of all the things I thought he was going to say, this was not it.

"I also wanted to say that, even after everything that went down, I still care a lot for you. Maybe you are right, maybe this isn't love anymore, but I still care about you, and I want us to be friends."

My eyes widened slightly. Wait, what? Harry sat on my bed next to me.

"I know you might need some time." Harry rushed when he saw my reaction. "But I think we can still be good friends and come out of this with a peaceful relationship. I want a chance to make amends to you, I want to show you that I still care."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Harry cut me off.

"No, don't say anything, just think about it. Maybe this could be the first step to relinking our relationship. We used to get along, why is it so hard now? I know we can be friends, and I think you should know that I'm willing to give you time and be friends with you until you feel ready to come back to me."

I was speechless. Harry smiled at me, looking more genuine and calm and just... more peaceful than I have seen him in a long time, and it felt good to see him like that.

"Hazel, I don't know if you realize it, but I know you are the love of my life, and I will wait for you, because I know you'll realize that too sooner or later. Maybe we didn't work out before because we were too young, maybe all these problems just got too much, not for our relationship, but on us both separately. Maybe this time, things can be different."

Harry came closer and before I could say anything, he kissed my forehead sweetly, before retreating and smiling at me.

"Just text me when you're ready to talk again."

"I don't have your number anymore, and I changed mine." I croaked out.

"Angel, just like I remember your old number by heart, I know you remember mine." Harry smiled before leaving the room, leaving me with a beating heart and an uncertain mind.

Angel.

The nickname felt foreign yet so familiar.

As did the heavy feeling in my stomach. Guilt.