short and sweet because I'm working on a super long angsty one and had to break up the string of tears first. yikes i'm not comfortable writing schmoopy stuff.
--
Castiel supposed that he understood the Winchester language by now, after picking up bits and pieces during the years that he had known them. He knew that in Dean's case, actions often spoke louder than words, while Sam preferred to talk things out, no matter how touchy the subject. In many ways, the brothers were polar opposites, and had faced deceit and betrayal because of it, but in so many other ways, they complemented each other better than no other. They balanced each other out, Dean motivated by his emotions and heart, Sam by logic and rationale.
Over the years, Castiel integrated little parts of their personalities into his own, while giving the same to them. It worked. Team Free Will had its ups and its (many) downs, but they were in it together, and they were able to work in harmony.
That isn't to say that the angel understood every bit of what the brothers said, much less agree with them. Dean's twists to the English language in particular were hard for Castiel to comprehend, and he both reveled and anguished at the continually growing mental list he had to make. The pop culture references became easier to recognize after Metatron messed with his mind, but there were still the quirks and phrases that were unique only to Dean Winchester.
One of Castiel's favorite things to do was analyze the hunter's expression, whether it be through short grunts of a sentence, or through dancing in the kitchen on a rainy Sunday morning. Dean absolutely fascinated him, and along the way, Castiel found himself falling for the man, and the light that he carried in his soul. The angel would do anything to preserve that purity, and all the broken pieces that came with it.
Though Castiel still hadn't quite grasped how to fully gauge Dean's feelings through his facial expressions and body language, he was becoming better each and every day at deciphering his word choices, and what they did or didn't mean.
--
("Hey, Cas, we're gonna need your help down here, turns out lake monsters really do exist.")
At the very beginning, Castiel had been surprised, but mainly confused as to why the human had shortened his name down to just three letters, so quickly after they had first met. Then, it had seemed like a small rebellion for Dean, being faced with the power of an angel, let alone the one who had pulled him out of the depths of Hell, and not even bothering to use his full name. In many ways, it could be considered disrespectful, and any other angel would have thought so, but it caused a little stir inside of Castiel, which he began to recognize as feeling. His first taste of humanity.
'Cas' became a symbol of trust, of friendship. He became fond of the nickname, as he soon became fond of the hunter as well.
--
("But what about your mojo?")
'Mojo' was a term that Castiel had quickly associated with Dean, and his own grace. He still didn't know why the hunter chose to refer to his angelic powers in such a way, but it soon grew on him. It felt personal, like Dean had become familiar and comfortable with the angel, enough to skip past the formalities. He knew, in the back of his mind, that Dean used the word often enough that it shouldn't mean anything, but it was one of the first variations he had heard for his grace, and it was something so Dean, it hinted to how he'd been raised, and was yet another sign of rebellion that Castiel admired. Something so mindless to Dean, somehow ended up meaning so much to an angel who started out with nothing.
--
("You're family, Cas.")
Castiel knew that it was the highest honor he could achieve, after seeing how much the two brothers would do for each other, how much they cared about each other. In the mind of Dean Winchester, family was everything, and more than anything, the angel wanted to mean everything to Dean.
--
("Thank you, for everything.")
For what, Castiel didn't know. But when Dean placed his hand on his shoulder and looked directly into his eyes, the angel could do nothing but accept, knowing the full depth and sincerity that the hunter was extending. They had been through much together, and the fact that Dean still appreciated the little things, like popping in for a beer or helping exterminate a group of malicious vampires, made Castiel feel warm and fuzzy in a way that was only described in movies. He wanted to hold onto that feeling until it pushed away everything else, leaving nothing but humanity, bright and green-eyed.
--
("I need you.")
What started out as an occasional expression used only in life-threatening situations soon became a regular thing, but with the same weight behind it. Dean would whisper it into the silence of their room at three in the morning, just loud enough for Castiel, and only Castiel, to hear. He would blurt it out after a long day of driving, after the two of them had just spent the last hour singing off-key. He would say it randomly while they were eating burgers in some run-down diner in Minnesota, the tips of his ears burning red.
Every time it slipped out of the hunter's lips, Castiel would feel this intense and burning adoration surge through him, absolutely enamored by everything Dean.
He knew what those words meant, what Dean couldn't make himself say.
He also knew that while he loved Dean with all of his heart, he needed him just as much.
--
("Cas, you're- you're it for me, you know?")
Marriage was out of the picture, they both knew that. ("Dean, I am a celestial being with no known record and you're technically dead at least twice over in the eyes of the law, how exactly would this work?") While it held symbolism that metaphorically sealed the deal, they didn't need it. They knew that they belonged to each other, soul and grace intertwined, with everything in between. They were married in all ways but legally.
And yet, Castiel still found himself overwhelmed with joy when Dean slipped a ring onto the finger of his left hand, silver with a tiny handprint engraved on the inside, the only glint in the darkness of the night. Just one sentence uttered from Dean, his voice alight with love and fear, still afraid that Castiel would reject him even after all these years.
All Castiel could do was grab Dean's face and smash their mouths together, kissing away all of his hunter's insecurity, feeling his soul burn brighter than ever before, leaving nothing but love and affection between them.
They didn't need a ceremony, or a paper that declared their unity. They were secure in the knowledge that they belonged to each other, wholly and unreserved, and not even death could do them part.
--
So yes, Castiel still didn't quite understand everything that Dean said, but he was learning, and knew that he had the rest of his life to figure it out, as long as he always woke up with the hunter in his arms.
