Jeonghan Smut&Fanfiction

His Fans Make Fun of You

Another text, another tweet, another comment. It's been happening ever since we got together. The constant hate and racist comments are starting to get to me. "I can't believe he chose you over everyone else, you're not even that pretty.", "You're so dark I can't even see you.", "just kill yourself." Stuff like that, I get it everyday constantly, it's a never ending roller coaster of hatred. It's crazy that I used to call these people my fandom. 

It's getting worse and I don't know how I'm going to continue to keep this from Jeonghan. He knows something is up, he keeps asking me what's wrong and if I'm okay. I can't tell him because I know it will ruin his outlook on all his fans. I can't do that to him, I just can't... so I just suffer in silence. It's weird to be in the receiving end of this. I have always watched from the outside so I never knew how any girlfriend of any kpop star felt. Now that I am dealing with all of this... I finally know what it's like and honestly...sometimes I wish I have never met him or fallen in love. 

I was at home waiting for Jeonghan to come home from practice. This had to end, the teasing and racist comments, the constant badgering and harassment... I had to end it all tonight, I just hated the thought of how he will react. I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, thinking of different ways to end our relationship. What the right approach is, what things not to say and how not to react to however he reacts. It had me so wrapped up, I got scared when I heard the front door open. "Hey Y/N, why are you sitting alone in the dark for? You didn't have to wait for me to get home, I don't like the idea of you losing sleep over me." I turned around and looked at the man that has made me the happiest girl in the world for the past 2 years. It's amazing how far we've come and it's also amazing how long it took for them to finally wear me down. 

"Jeonghan, I need to tell you something and I know you're not going to like it." His face immediately fell, his eyes darkened and his jawline poked out, hardening with him tightening up is mouth. He sat down on the couch next to me, staring at me, waiting to hear what it was that I needed to say. "Jeonghan, this isn't going to work anymore. I can't deal with you being away all the time and I can't deal with your fans anymore. It's gotten to the point where I can't even look at my phone because every time I do, there's someone always saying something. There's always a comment, a tweet, a text that's never good. Dating you has brought the best of times for me, but now it's become a job, a hassle. I know how much your fans mean to you and I'm not going to make you give them up, it wouldn't be right. However, it's not right for me to stay here and have to deal with so much hatred for something they all wish they could have. I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you."

I got off the couch to leave, my bags already packed in the kitchen. I went and grabbed my bags, put on my coat, my shoes, gloves, and hat and headed for the door. He was still sitting on the couch, his hands balled up in fists, they were so tight you could see his veins clearly through his skin. "You always make decisions for yourself, you pretend to be thinking of other people but you're always thinking of yourself. Have you not wondered what toll this is taking on me? What hate I'm getting, the hate that my family, friends and group members get? It isn't only you Y/N and you have no idea how I would feel towards my fans. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!" Jeonghan was now in my face, he has never yelled at me before and honestly, I didn't like it one bit. 

"I knew you would blow up, but honestly I didn't think you'd be this mad. You're right, I didn't know what was going on with you or anyone else but it'll stop once I leave." I turned back around and opened the door only for it to be slammed shut. "Jeonghan let me leave." I felt his come closer towards me, "Jeonghan, move your hand and let me leave." He chuckled behind me, he actually fucking chuckled. "Did you honestly think it was going to be so easy? Did you think that I was going to let you walk out of my life just like that? You never cared for me did you, was anything real to you, did everything mean complete shit to you? I was just a game, a test to see how long you'd last huh? That's all it was..... " His voice was breaking and hearing him so broken made me turn around and the sight before me had my knees go weak with sadness. 

Jeonghan was almost on his knees, his shoulders shaking with the sobs that rattled his entire body. "You don't love me do you Y/N?" I quickly bent down, putting my bags aside and grabbing his head so I can look at his face. His eyes had completely lost all of their shine, they were so dull and lifeless. I realized that it affected him more than I thought. "Jeonghan I love you with all the being in my body. You are my light, my sun and moon, the stars in the night sky, the waves in the ocean, the beat of my heart, the soul that lies within me. You are the most important person in my life, I love you more than you could ever know." He touched my face and smiled for a minute but then his smile disappeared, "Then why, why would you be so quick to throw everything away? Why would you throw me away Y/N?" 

I hugged him, I was so stupid. I was only worried about I was being affected, I never thought about how he was be affected. It never crossed my mind, was I really that blind?  "Jeonghan, I won't leave, I'll stay, I can't bear the thought of what might become of you if I were to leave. I'm sorry I wasn't thinking of you, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." He hugged me back, I inhaled his scent and it brought me home. All of our memories came rushing back, the day at the beach, our first kiss, our first dance, our first time, everything that made me love him. I was home and this was all that mattered, of he was willing to deal with the hate, then so could I. We'd get through this together, that's a promise I'd keep. 

"Oh by the way Y/N, will you marry me?"