Soundtrack Series • FOUR • Once In A Lifetime

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Harry: Your eyes were closing, and sleep was taking over. However, his voice was still on the other end, and he wasn't going to let you fall asleep just yet. He had been telling you about Japan for the last hour. One of his favorite places to be. "I wish you were here with me." "Shut up," you counter, your words half-muffled by the pillow. "No, I'm serious, it would make this trip ten times better," he insists. "Harry," you begin, taking in a deep breath and rolling over to lay on your back. "Yes?" "Just stop." He only laughs. "No, I'm not trying to be funny. I'm being serious." "(Y/N), come on. Just think about everything we could do if we were together." He's seeing into the future now, and you need to stop him, for the sake of your friendship. "What we have now is all we are ever going to have," you try and explain to him, knowing this was like talking to a brick wall. He wanted to hear none of this. "Nah." He was going to let you think whatever you wanted, he would change your mind in time. "No, Harry, I'm serious. What we have, no one else has. I don't care how many famous friends you think you have, none of them have what we have." "So why not make it stronger?" You roll your eyes, he has always been so stubborn. You never thought you would be in this situation though, defending your friendship. Yes, the two of you had flirted constantly these last four years or so, and yes, it had caused several rumors to come up, but that's all they were. He was wanting a lot more than rumors; he was wanting to make them real life. You couldn't do that though. You know what you have with him is rare, and the last thing you want to do is make a decision that screws all of it up. He means too much to you for that. Why can't he just understand where you are coming from? He's too set in his own ways, that's why. He knows what he wants and will not stop until he gets it. That is how he has always been. It's something you are used to. You sigh deeply over the line, rolling back over onto your side. This conversation was slipping away from you. "Harry, can you please just stop." You didn't know what else to say, he was wearing you down with relationship talk. A relationship you didn't even want to think about. Yes, you had once considered being in a relationship with him, but thought better of it, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions you had ever made. There was no pressure between the two of you. There was no label. It was just you and Harry, nothing more and nothing less. And that is how you always wanted it to stay. You weren't on the fence about it anymore, and you were ready and willing pull him over to your side so he would see that it's better this way. "I'm just trying to get you to see that I love you and that we would be great together." His words were so simple but you knew the complications behind them. "I wish you would just tell me more about Japan," you urge. You were so tired and the last thing you wanted to do was get deeper into relationship talk with him. "I wish you would just see that I'm right." "But that's the thing, Harry, you aren't. If you and I were to get into a relationship, what happens when it goes wrong? Does it end badly? If it does then that is us never talking to each other again. Harry, I can't risk that. I'm sorry if that's selfish of me, but I -" "Why does everything have to go wrong with you? Why can't things just turn out great?" "Because that isn't life Harry. We aren't living in a fairytale, Walt Disney isn't writing our story." "I've got to go," he says after your outburst. You groan in frustration as he ends the call without saying anything else.
Liam: You're walking towards the tower. Finally a day to explore the city you had been invited to. You look around, but there isn't a familiar face in site. Where is Mark? He's meant to be here. He's the one that planned this whole trip. Now that you think about it, how did you even make it out here without him not being with you? Surely you hadn't turned into a wanderer. You feel a hand grab yours and you are immediately relieved. "I was wondering where-" You stop your sentence. Your eyes are wide as you trace over his features. "What are you doing here?" You question, looking around to make sure you were in fact still in France. "I came to see you, like you asked, remember?" "What? I didn't ask you to come here?" "Yes you did, you called me on the phone last night. You said you wanted to come back to London, that you didn't want to be here anymore." You are certain those words never came out of your mouth. What is going on? "Liam, I never said that," you insist, pulling your hand from his. "I have the voice mail." You look down as he pulls his phone out. "Liam can you come get me? I don't want to be in France anymore." It was definitely your voice, no denying that. "I must have been drunk last night," you assure him. "You don't look very hungover." You don't feel hungover either. What is happening? Had you really called Liam and told him those things? Obviously you had; he had recorded proof. You stare at him, utterly confused. There is no way this is happening. "Where is Mark?" You ask, looking around the crowded park. "How am I supposed to know? You told me to meet you here." You shake your head, you hadn't done that either. He holds his phone up though, and sure enough you read the text from you that told him to meet you right where you stand. You continue to shake your head. You have been having such a great time with Mark, why would you suddenly change your mind about being here? And Liam. Liam is supposed to be on tour, he isn't supposed to be able to just fly to your rescue whenever you call him. However, thinking back to his actions earlier on in the week you wouldn't put it past him to just fly out simply because you said you weren't enjoying yourself anymore. Obviously he had done just that, and you stand in front of him in shock. "How long are you just going to stand there?" He questions honestly, but a slight smile on his face. He was winning, he knew it. "No, no, no, this isn't happening," you say loudly. "You're causing a scene now," he warns. "I don't care, this isn't happening! This isn't happening!!" You shout, your voice twice as loud this time. Just then everything goes black. Your eyes are shut. You slowly open them to see a dimly lit room. A groan comes from beside you and you quickly turn. It was Mark. You sigh loudly in exhausted relief. It was all just a dream. But wait. A dream? About Liam? Why were you dreaming about Liam? Especially after everything he had done to sabotage your relationship this last week. Why was he even in your thoughts? And why had you wanted him to take you away from France, away from Mark? You didn't want to leave. You have been enjoying yourself, the last thing you wanted to do was leave, especially with Liam. You wrap your arms around Mark and close your eyes once more. Liam had already tried his best to weasel his way into your relationship and it hadn't worked. Now he was trying an alternative method.
Niall: You're surrounded by samples once again. They're covering your floor, and you have yet to make any decisions. Work on the Washington Square project is in full force, and you are swamped. Swamped is good though. It's keeping you on track and your mind off of things you do not need to be thinking about. Things like Niall. Not that you needed to forget about him, just about what he had said. About staying away. You have been doing just fine these last few days, now that you've had something to distract yourself. Maybe that's all you need, distractions. This is the life you want because this is the job you have always wanted. Opportunities like this do not come around every day, Niall had told you that at the very beginning. Of course with your worrisome mind, you are just now fully realizing that. You had been too busy worrying about your relationship, one that was fine, to realize that what you were doing in the office was the key to the success of it all. Keeping busy, simply by working, was what helps you accept the fact that you are so far away from Niall. So work, work is what you need to do. You look all around you at all of the projects that you had yet to finish. There were still shower heads to choose, countertops to finalize on, and of course the duvets you had yet to decide on. You love this work. You had let your worry consume your love for the life you had made for yourself. Yes, you were a part of a life that Niall had made for himself, but you had also done the same for yourself. You aren't here by accident. Someone wanted you right here. Kati wanted you right here. She was your biggest dream; you couldn't imagine anything beyond working for her. And here you are doing just that. No, she wasn't paying you to sit in the floor of your apartment at one in the morning with a glass of wine in your hand as you mull over samples. But if she could see you she would be so proud. She was well aware of your struggle; she had gone through a similar one of course. She knew it would eventually fade and you would wean yourself off of his presence, enough to function at least. You grab your notebook from the couch, and a pen from the coffee table. You had work that needed to be done. You spend the rest of the night deciding and finalizing on all of the loose ends on the Washington Square. This is your biggest project yet, no room for screw ups. With one hand on the calculator to work the budget, the other is tracking your final decisions. Who even knew you were ambidextrous? You wish Niall could at least see you working like this. He would know he was completely right about the move to New York. This is where you belong. He hadn't really seen you work like this before. You had never had a project this big back in London, nothing like this ever came around in the small firm. You even blew off the impact of this project on your career. You hadn't even remembered to tell Niall when you first heard you were getting it. You were distracted back then as well. You had started to let the work take over. But once you realized you hadn't shared that important detail with him you thought different of letting work consume you so much. Unfortunately that was where you went wrong. Not keeping your mind on work, the sole reason you were over here to begin with, was your demise. The second guessing followed and then, of course, the drama was straight behind it. There isn't drama here now, as you sit in the floor, surrounded by the life you had made for yourself. It is something you can now admit you are proud of, something everyone around you told you to go for. This life doesn't happen to everyone. You had made it happen for you.
Louis: Another country and another time zone. You hadn't been home in weeks. You had requested to be able to finish out the semester online and your professors had thankfully granted your wishes. You hadn't given them very many details, only that you were now having to do a lot of traveling but still wanted to participate in classes as best you could and be credited for the work you were willing to put in. You know you have to be here with Louis, but you still aren't willing to give up getting an education. Louis, of course, supported your decision to take this route towards continuing your education and had surprised you with a laptop back before you left Australia a few days ago. You had left yours back in France and clearly needed one if you were going to be keeping up with school from the road. You are working on an essay right now, but you are also sitting in the middle of sound check. This is what your life had turned into, but you don't really see the problem. You had once worried about life on the road, but it turns out there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about. You are living your life with Louis, but it just so happens that the scenery changes more often than it used to. Everything else is the same. You look up from your computer screen when you hear his solo is coming up. He is already looking over at you, knowing that this is your favorite song. He assures you that everything is going to be fine, according to the song of course, and you smile. You would watch him do this all day if were possible. He's seated up on the stairs with the rest of the guys, there was no need to run all over the stage and get tired before the show. He smiles back, sending you a wink and you return back to your essay as they finish out the rest of the song. One of the perks of doing your homework on the road is that most of the music playing in the background is live. You're certain that a lot of people do not get to experience that. Sound check wraps up, but you remain seated among the empty seats. You have to get this essay written in order to get it in on time. Your time management skills are definitely being tested with living on the road. "How much more do you have left?" You hear Louis ask as he jumps down from the stage to join you. "I'm on my last paragraph before my conclusion," you inform him, not looking up from the computer screen as your fingers continue to type away. Although you don't have anything to worry about with spending so much time on the road, school is stressful in itself. You are the only one on this tour trying to accomplish anything close to this, so no one else really understands when you go into homework mode, Louis included. "Are you just going to stay out here?" He questions with a slight chuckle, knowing fans would be entering the stadium in less than an hour. "For now, yes. I'm in the middle of a thought so...." "Right, I'll go away," he obliges, walking away. It was going to take him a while to get used to you officially being a student on the road. He had told you how proud of you he was for doing this, and he seemed genuinely happy that you had made the decision to stay with him. Which goes back to you thinking that all of his unhappiness had to do with something other than you. You had left that thought back in Australia. It just wasn't the case. You know you belong by his side. Everything with him here, wherever here may be on any given day, is exactly where you belong.
Zayn: Just once, the phone had buzzed only once. Yet an eerie feeling has rushed over you as you stare over at the black screen. You slowly reach for your phone, sliding it across the desk to sit it in front of you. You don't want to turn the screen on; you've felt this feeling before. You do it anyways, pressing the button and illuminating the screen. The eerie feeling is confirmed as you stare at his name. You slide your finger across the screen to unlock your phone to read the message. You open your messages and select his name. There is no message. There is only a link. Another .mp3 link to what you assume to be a song. No. He isn't doing this again. He had fooled you entirely with the song he had sent you a few months ago, everything about it was a lie. This would be no different. You select the link anyways; you know your curiosity won't let you ignore it. You walk over to your bedroom door, closing it, before sitting down on your bed. The last thing you wanted was Gwen coming by to question what you are listening to. As the music starts you immediately recognize it. Of course it was one of his own songs; that's how he makes it more personal. You already connected with this song when you first heard it a while back. You felt like this was your relationship in a song. A relationship like yours and his only happens once in a lifetime. Listening to it now, you don't know what to think. It may be true that what you had may never come around again, but that doesn't mean it was meant to last, does it? You stop the song. You know how it goes, you know the words, there is no need to torture yourself. However, it had already begun as your mind begins to go back to your relationship. You had tried your best to keep Zayn out of your thoughts and had been doing a fairly decent job. You hadn't cried in almost four days, and Gwen hadn't had to buy you any sort of consoling food on the way home. You were moving on. But in an instant you had taken four steps back. Tears begin to form in your eyes as you think about him. Your relationship with him was perfect, or so you had thought at one point. You had spent the last two years with this guy you had thought you were going to marry. Everything was going that well. Then those four months came along, those last four months. It all changed then, but you didn't think anything less of the situation. You still thought you were going to marry him. That it was going to work itself out, because after all what you had only happens once. That wasn't the case though. It hadn't worked out like you had thought it would. Everything was ruined; your future with him was gone. There was nothing between you now. But if that's so true then why is he sending you songs like this? Why is he trying to remind of the happier times if he isn't willing to see that they return? Why couldn't they return? You would give anything. You want so badly for him to be back in your life. You need him. You need the old him. Not this angry person that has been walking around for weeks upon weeks. You have no idea who he even is. You want your Zayn back, the one that writes the songs he sends you. Wherever he is you wished he would find you. In the pit of your stomach, though, you know it isn't going to happen. You're just having separation anxiety, and it will soon pass. Gwen had assured you of that. But you just can't help thinking about him. What was his motive with sending this? What reaction was he trying to get out of you? You're sure if he could see you right now he would be pleased to see you crying over his actions. He always wanted a reaction, no matter what kind it was. You lay back on the bed, the room completely silent. The most dangerous place to be.

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