Chapter Fourteen

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1 WEEK LATER

KATE

"Hey girl long time no see, come and give your favourite gay a hug."

I look up from my coffee cup into the eyes of one of my closest friends and fellow youtuber Tyler Oakley.

"I don't see Joey anywhere in sight Tyler but I guess you'll do."

Tyler pouts as I get up from my chair and hug him; he hugs me back before taking the seat opposite me.

"Rudeness Kate."

I roll my eyes and sit back down. For the last week I'd been hanging around with Mike and Pierce The Veil a lot and I felt bad for neglecting my YouTube friends so decided to meet Tyler for coffee.

"Now tell me why you went radio silent Kate, you know you can tell me anything and it stays between us. I'm a cheaper version of therapy."

Tyler rests his hands on the table as the waitress puts a cup of coffee in front of him. I sit back on my chair deciding it might help to get an unbiased opinion on my situation.

"I tried to kill myself again Tyler. I took a bottle of whiskey and my anti-depressants and was ready to jump off a bridge and end it all."

Tyler's eyes soften and he reaches across the table and holds both my hands which were shaking. This was my third suicide attempt, I felt bad for lying to the guys and my boyfriend but I knew they'd leave me if they really knew how damaged I was inside.

"Why Kate?"

"After I made the video saying I use to cut and how I was anorexic people and even some of my own fans called me attention seeking. They said I was jumping on the bandwagon of controversial videos that youtubers and viners were posting. They called me a liar; one fan even said my scars were fake."

The scar in question was on the underside of my left arm and was suicide attempt number two. I use to cut to get over the pain of being bullied in school, I was a walking cliché. One night I locked myself in the bathroom and smashed the mirror above the sink and started to cut my arms up. I didn't think I was bleeding fast enough so I kept cutting, except I hit a vein and there was a lot of blood. I passed out just as my dad kicked down the bathroom door.

"It was brave of you to make that video Kate. Sure you got haters from it, but somewhere out there you probably helped so many young people come clean to their parents about their problems and get the help they needed."

I snort, "We never asked to be role models when we started making videos Tyler. They were an escape. If they knew I'd made a noose out of my bed sheets and tried to hang myself when I was fourteen, I doubt they'd still watch my videos."

Tyler keeps hold of one of my hands and uses his other to run his fingers through his hair. He was the least judging youtuber I knew, kind of like a mother hen.

"Okay, tell me why you didn't jump off the bridge?"

I look down at the table avoiding eye contact feeling myself blush at the mere thought of Mike.

"I was saved by a guy Tyler."

"Baby girl you're blushing. Tell me about this boy, I need to know everything."

Tyler was the mother hen of YouTube, but also the biggest gossip. He liked knowing everyone's business, and I knew he'd never use my past as blackmail against me. Plus I was more than happy to talk about Mike instead of my traumatic youth.

"You know my favourite band is Pierce The Veil, well the lead singer Vic was drunk on the night I tried to take my life on the bridge and messaged me on Twitter by mistake thinking I was another Kate. He called me attention seeking. But then his younger brother Mike found his phone and told me not to jump and that he was coming to get me. I was passed out when Mike got to me, but when I woke up in the hospital I discovered he hadn't left my side the whole time."

Tyler awes and takes his phone out of his jacket most likely going to look up Mike. I drink my coffee and watch Tyler as he scrolls through his phone.

"Damn girl that's Mike, now if he played for my team I'd happily let him jump my bones and dominate me."

I nearly choke on my coffee. Tyler was unique; he was so casual about his sex life. I wished I had his confidence.

"Nice to know Tyler, well there's more to the story."

Tyler puts his phone down staring at me, prompting me to continue my story.

"Mike took me to a fair because he stalked me online and discovered I loved them. He won me a giraffe plushie which I named Mike Jr because everyone calls Mike a giraffe because he's so tall. We then went on the ferris wheel and I kissed him first at the top, but then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes."

I decided to miss out the disastrous first date and meeting Mike's ex-girlfriend. Tyler was romantic and only wanted to hear the positives. I also didn't want to think about how close I was that night, to letting Mike go for good. If I'd let him go we wouldn't happily be together and he'd most likely be back with his ex.

Tyler gasps, "That's so cute Kate. I'm happy you've found someone who makes you happy, you deserve it after all the crap you've dealt with over the years."

Yes, it was cute, but I still had a pretty big dilemma I needed Tyler's advice on.

"One small problem Tyler, I think his older brother Vic might also like me. He started off distant this last week but slowly he's gone back to being his old nice self around me."

Tyler smiles over the rim of his coffee cup and clicks his tongue, "got to love a bit of family drama. You've got to ask yourself a few questions Kate so you absolutely know you're with the right brother."

I tilt my head to the side, what questions did I have to ask myself? Was Tyler making me question whether or not I was with the right Fuentes brother?

"What questions Tyler?"

"Which brother will less likely hurt you in the future? Which brother has your best interests at heart? Which brother will remain loyal when distractions are put in front of them? Which brother could you see raising a potential family with in the future? And which brother is best for your health, physically and emotionally?"

They were all extremely good questions, questions that hadn't crossed my mind before until Tyler bought them up. Damn, my friend for being so wise. I was so lost in my own little fairytale that I wasn't thinking about the bigger picture down the line.

"I hate that you're right Tyler, but I still love you boo. Now enough about me, what's new in Oakley land?"

Tyler chuckles, "I can't complain really. I like being a role model and making a change in the world Kate. But I do have something to ask you."

"Ask away Tyler."

"A few youtubers including myself are putting together a little tour around America to start with. Kind of like what Dan and Phil did but with more youtubers. I was tasked with asking you whether or not you wanted to be a part of the tour?"

Now that was the last thing I expected Tyler to ask me. I'd seen The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire and loved every second of the show. Could I be a part of something similar? It would be nice to tour around America with my friends for a few weeks, seeing new places and meeting fans. Pierce The Veil would be going out on tour soon around America so it would Mike and I some time apart.

"Count me in Oakley, send me the details. Let's have a fun time on the road with friends."

Tyler whoops and high-fives me across the table. We ignore the strange looks we get from other customers around us instead bursting into laughter and going back to drinking our coffee like nothing had happened. I felt better getting everything off my chest, but now I had some tough questions to ask myself. Maybe this tour was coming at the right time.

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