Forever

Introduction

Katy

Today is July 16, the day that brings me so much pain, happiness, frustration, and sadness mashed together. The day that the best thing that ever happened to me was brought into this world.

Alyssa.

When Alyssa was born, it was the happiest day of my life. The way her big, beautiful blue eyes, identical to my own, stared at me. The cute little nose crinkle on her face, when she giggled. The way she gripped tightly onto my finger, as I held her close to my heart.

She was so precious. She meant everything to me. She was my heart, soul, and my will to live. I had the best time of my life with her in arms. Nothing mattered but, her.

My world.

But, like all good things eventually, it had to come to an end. When she was only a year and a couple months old, I gave her up for adoption, so that she could have a better life than I could give her at the time.

I was only 16 when I gave birth to the angel. My parents gave me a good scolding for my underaged pregnancy, but eventually they came to terms with it and they were excited to have a grandchild on the way. That didn't matter, to me though, I just wanted my baby with me, in my arms, forever.

The first year with her was perfect, but during the last couple months, I got busier and busier, trying to pursue my music career. It started off when I would drop her off with my parents for a couple hours every once and while. Then it started escalating to me not coming home for days or even weeks.

My parents started to get angry at me for "not taking care of my responsibilities" and would start numerous arguments over how I don't take care of her enough. I thought I took care of her just fine and that they should get off my back. Slowly, I started to notice that they were right when one day I was about to drop her off with my parents, so that I could go to a very important meeting.

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I put the bags with Lyssa's clothes, toys, etc. into the car, so that I could take her to my parents house for a while. I actually haven't told her she was going yet, but I got an unexpected call from my manager from a record company telling me they wanted to hear some of my music. I had already told Lyssa that I was taking some time off so that I could make up some time I hadn't spent with her, but this was a chance I just couldn't pass up. No telling when I'd get another opportunity like this again.

After packing the car, I walked into the living where Lyssa was watching her favorite cartoon with my sister, Angela. I sat beside her and prepared myself for once again disappointing my little angel.

"Lyssa baby," I said, already feeling the guilt. " Angel, lets get you dressed, I have to take you to Grandma and Grandpa for a little while, so I can take care of some business."

" But, mommy you said you were taking a break." She whimpered quietly, pouting with tears in her beautiful blues eyes, pronouncing most of the words incorrectly. It broke my heart, to see her crying. " Mommy why did you lie to me?" She cried with tears streaming down her face.

"Angel, I'm sorry, but this is really important I'll be back as soon as I can." I said, glancing at Angela, who was glaring holes into my head head.

"Katy, I get that you love you singing, but you're always putting your job before your child!" Angela spat angrily. "It's really starting to take a toll on her. Everytime you leave she always cries for you to come back, because she thinks that one day you're not going to come back. Just like her father." She said with her voice softening at the end.