Random Little Things

Okay, Wellzies...

Okay, so I wrote this like a year after I broke up with a shitty guy in my life, I'm half and half on wanting to delete this, but it says some good shit among the dung piles so I think imma leave it. As of 9/3/18 it's been two years, two months, and three days that I've been with my current boyfriend and honestly I couldn't be happier. People, a light is always at the end of the tunnel.

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*unedited apology turned ramble*

I tried to keep to my one update a month at least, I swear, I have a thingy on my phone for it and everything. But it just didn't happen, and the reason for that is that I tend to write when I am sad, or feeling angry or almost any emotion other than happy and related. So honestly, these past six months have been the happiest I've been in a while; of course I've had my downs but I haven't had a period of time that was over two days and that's an accomplishment for me. The reason that I realised for this is simply because I'm in a relationship right now with the most perfect guy in the world, to me, instead of a guy that I am only now realising was using me for sexual pleasure and just abused me emotionally throughout the relationship.

If anyone happens to see this,
If your partner gets angry at you or starts crying because you were crying or angry at something that they did to you, that is abuse to your emotions. You are valid and you deserve to be listened to.
If your partner pushes you in any way before you are ready to do something sexual with their excuse being that "they don't want to be the oldest to loose their virginity in their family" you dump them.
If your partner gets angry, annoyed or even ignores you because you didn't reply to them straight away or within five minutes and they ask for a specific reason as to why you didn't reply to them instead of just understanding that you might not be on your phone 24/7, then they have no respect for you or the life you live.
I just wish I had this advice before I endured 10 months with a guy I thought I loved and loved me in return.
There are many times I look back and realised that I had thought of leaving him long before the end of the 10 months, and I wonder what stopped me. Then I remember, all he ever said to me when we talked about the future was "I couldn't live without you", "if you ever left me I would die" etc etc. and that is a proven form of emotional abuse.
Abuse from a partner is hard to see yourself, he was drawing straws from my hand and then he drew a final straw and he was gone, fortunately I had a in a straw, some people don't.

Anyway, right now I'm in my seventh month with a guy that doesn't get angry if I disagree with him and hears me out, he respects my boundaries and always asks consent and makes sure I am okay, doesn't mind if I don't respond to his message for over two hours because my mum and dad have come home and I'm talking with them about our day or if I'm on Facebook and am distracted by the endless scroll, I have a guy that I know loves me for me and loves me the same way that I love him.

I hope you all find someone like that for you, and if you're ace, well then I hope you have a friend like that for you.