Zombie President

28 to 30

28.

At that moment, Helga Tilden laughed and spoke into her phone.

"Yes, Samuel will be delighted to see you too," Helga said. "Thank you so much for your support."

Helga hung up and sighed. Day one of ramping up her husband's campaign had exhausted her, and more than anything she craved a nice cup of tea.

As she puttered about the kitchen, Helga made a mental note (several mental notes, actually, all mixing and piling up on one another) about everyone she had called that day and their varying levels of enthusiasm for Samuel's latest presidential campaign. Helga was pleased, of course, that all of their old friends were onboard for another run at the Oval Office. The initial phase of fundraising and outreach had gone well, and for that she was grateful.

However, she continued to be vexed and annoyed at her conversation with the party chairman. When Helga had talked to him about Samuel replacing Julian Sanchez on the official ticket, she was stunned at the man's reply.

"I'm sorry," said the party chairman. "But I don't think we can support a flesh-eating zombie for president. There are image considerations to consider."

It was the sole negative response she had encountered all day. And as she poured her tea, she realized that some individuals still needed to be convinced. People just didn't understand the kind, compassionate man Samuel Tilden truly was.

29.

Samuel Tilden held Clay's severed head aloft. He roared and flung the grisly trophy at the cowering townspeople.

The decoys, shot to pieces in the initial moments of the battle, twitched and pulled themselves up. They formed the final wave of the assault, although their efforts were superfluous.

Most of townspeople were no longer fighting but merely trying to run away. That didn't work either.

Big Jake, Shelby, and Lenny kept firing away, while Knut beat back a zombie with the butt of his shotgun (which worked as well as shooting them). Big Jake soon ran out of ammo, followed quickly by Shelby and Lenny. The four survivors of Brewerville backed up as a pair of zombies closed in on them. There was nowhere to run.

"Okay," Knut said. "I have a plan."

At that moment, the WSCK news van slammed into the two zombies and sent them flying. The van skidded to a stop as the zombies rolled away.

Big Jake, Shelby, and Lenny looked at Knut.

"That wasn't the plan. But it will do," Knut said.

Dr. Nguyen, behind the wheel of the news van, yelled, "Get in!"

Knut jumped into the passenger seat, while the others headed for the back of the van. Big Jake clubbed a zombie into submission to clear a path for Shelby and Lenny, who hopped into the vehicle. Big Jake climbed in just as Dr. Nguyen hit the gas.

The van careened wildly through the chaos of the battle, and several zombies lost an arm or got crushed underfoot in their misguided zeal to stop the speeding vehicle.

As Dr. Nguyen searched for a path to safety, Knut yelled, "There!" and pointed at Twisney. The newswoman was struggling to free the camera from Grant, who was of absolutely no help (although to be fair, he could offer only limited assistance, because his lower half was gone, and two zombies were pulling out his intestines).

"Why doesn't she just let go of the damn camera?" Knut muttered.

Twisney finally succeeded in yanking away her prize, and she got up and ran while the zombies bathed themselves in Grant's internal organs. Dr. Nguyen drove to intercept her, and he slowed enough to let her catch up.

Twisney's sprint caught the attention of several zombies, who lit out after her. Even with her head start they closed the gap quickly, and Big Jake leaned out the back of the van, yelling at Twisney to run faster. He held out a hand, and Twisney grabbed it. Big Jake pulled her into the van, but her legs dangled over the road.

"Go, go, go!" Lenny yelled, and Dr. Nguyen pressed on the gas pedal with both feet.

A zombie lunged for Twisney's legs, missed, and grabbed hold of the bumper. Big Jake strained to hold on to Twisney, who twisted and kicked at the undead attacker as the van accelerated. Shelby saw Dr. Nguyen's assault rifle on the floor. She grabbed it and stuck in the zombie's face. When she didn't pull the trigger right away, Big Jake shouted, "What are you waiting for?"

Shelby paused, frowned, and muttered, "Shit."

She blasted the zombie at a distance of one inch, and it flew backward, sans its head, to roll and bounce in the road.

Big Jake hauled Twisney into the van, and she thanked him between gulps of breath. Lenny, perplexed, looked at a flustered Shelby.

"I was trying to think of a good one-liner, like in the movies right before they kill the bad guy," Shelby admitted. "But it couldn't think of anything clever. It's a lot harder than it looks."

Lenny nodded and put his arm around her. Knut leaned forward in the passenger seat and scanned the area.

"No one else is alive," Knut said. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Dr. Nguyen nodded and turned toward the main road out of town. He drove over two zombies and sideswiped a third, and in another moment, the van was clear of Brodfoot.

Tilden watched the van get away, and he scowled. But he turned his attention back to his troops, who were partaking in what could only be called a zombie Thanksgiving dinner. Tilden, standing triumphantly in the middle of the feast, laughed deliriously.

In the back of the van, Twisney, Big Jake, Shelby, and Lenny collapsed into separate corners and tried to let their bodies de-adrenalize. Dr. Nguyen stared straight ahead, barely blinking, and drove on. Knut looked at his fellow survivors, then at the road in front of them, and asked, "So where do we go from here?"

Nobody said anything.

30.

And the sun set over a new country.