Zombie President

17 and 18

17.

The Dodge Challenger pulled up to the Alvarado home. Knut got out of the car while still talking to Lenny and Shelby about the nature of organic matter and the possibility of genetically manipulating outcomes. Knut opened the door to his house and walked in without looking, so engrossed was he in the one-sided discussion about chromosomal resurrection and amalgada incongruity.

Knut said, "So you see, the chances of zombies being in this town are..."

Knut turned and looked into the living room.

"One hundred percent..." Knut whispered.

Lenny and Shelby stood frozen at the entryway. The three teens stared bug-eyed at the sight of a dozen zombies shuffling around the house, several with blood around their mouths. Others had what appeared to be a combination of human intestines and chilaquiles splattered on them. One zombie sat plaintively in a corner, eating one lemon after another, washing them down with the lemonade that Mrs. Alvarado had been preparing.

Knut glanced into the kitchen, where he saw zombies feasting upon his dismembered parents. Knut winced as Tilden took a chunk out of Mr. Alvarado's head.

Shelby leaned forward and gently pulled Knut out to the porch, and Lenny carefully closed the door. No one said anything for a moment.

Finally, Knut said, "I am going to need a shitload of therapy after seeing that."

"What are we going to do?" Lenny asked.

"Well, I've got to save my parents," Knut said.

"Save your parents?" Shelby asked. "Maybe you can save an arm or a leg, but you're not saving much else."

Knut thought about her statement for a moment, decided it was empirically true, and said, "You're right. The logical decision is to get the fuck out of here."

"You're finally making sense," Lenny said.

Shelby and Lenny turned toward the Challenger, but Knut stopped them.

"Before we go, I need my laptop," Knut said.

"No way," Lenny said. "I'm not going in there, and we're leaving now."

"For us to have any chance at all, I need that computer," Knut said. "I'll sneak in my bedroom window. You drive the car around and wait for me. If I'm not out in five minutes, assume I'm dead and leave."

Lenny thought about this deal for a moment, then nodded and said, "OK, but five is all you're getting."

Knut turned and sprinted to the back of the house while Lenny and Shelby hurried to the Challenger. A moment later, Knut slid open a window and shimmied into his bedroom. He could still hear the zombies feasting upon his family, and the sound almost made him retch, but he concentrated on grabbing his laptop and some clothes. He finished stuffing a backpack with essentials and turned back to the window, but just then something incredibly sucky happened: His bedroom door slammed open, and three zombies bum-rushed him.

"Shit," Knut said.

He threw a monitor at the nearest zombie, who caught it in the face and tumbled backward. The other two kept coming, however, and Knut upended his bed and flung a coat rack at them. One zombie stumbled to the floor, but the other, a woman ghoulishly attired in a wedding dress, grabbed Knut's arm. Knut whirred through his panic and cut short the flashing of his life before his eyes long enough to wonder how this small dead woman could be so freakishly fast and strong. She bared her teeth and closed in for a juicy bite of Knut's elbow.