alright ↠ dylan o'brien

forty one.

In these coming years
Many things will change
But the way I feel
Will remain the same
Lay us down
We're in love
~The End Of All Things by Panic! At The Disco

Dylan

When everyone had left my dimly-lit room by eleven, I was taken out into the hallway by two prison guards. I passed Mom, Julia, Domenic, and Dad, who all smiled at me encouragingly—with the exception of Julia. But that was okay.
Right as I was about to leave that hallway, I saw Stephen being taken in. Mom gasped and covered her mouth. Dad flipped him off. Julia smiled. Stephen wore his orange jumpsuit and was struggling to get out of the grip of his guards. To get to me.
"I'll kill you!" he bellowed, his voice ringing down the hallway. He cursed some more and screamed threats at me. I just grinned. If I could've waved, I would have, but my hands were cuffed.
I looked over at Domenic and winked. He beamed at me.

*~*~*

My trial was held a week later. My family was there, all except Julia, and I had some defense against my case. They gave me seven years in prison, what with the violence and the underage drinking and the hit-and-run incident and the being-a-wanted-criminal thing. Saving Ray from that fire helped me a bit as they realized I had done nothing intentionally.
I shared a cell with two other guys my age, and an older guy around the age of twenty-five. The older guy was a tool, but the two other guys were okay. I had asked the inspector if I could keep Lola's bracelet, so that I'd always have a part of her. The food was shit, but I got used to it eventually. I saw Stephen once in a while and at dinner one night, he attempted to fulfill his promise of killing me. Gave me another black eye and a swollen lip, but the security guards got there eventually. Prison life sucked, but I was paying for my crimes, and I was okay with that.
I was allowed visiting hours, too. Brian came and I explained everything to him through the phone from the other side of the glass. April began, and Domenic and Dad came to tell me that they were going back to Boston. They had stayed for two weeks at a hotel down the street from our apartment. Mom came the next day and said that she and Julia would also be going to Boston as planned before, so Julia could get her college education. They would try to visit atleast once every month.
Everything felt complete.
Except her.
Raven.

Lola

I was hospitalized for almost two weeks. I had suffered severe hypothermia, and needed to be hooked up to saline fluids, laid on a heating pad, and wrapped in multiple blankets. Some of my blood had been removed from my body, warmed, and put back in. I had been unconscious and in a coma the whole week. I almost died and I should have, but I didn't.
When I woke up and everything came back to me, I laid still for hours and wouldn't let anyone touch me or speak to me. I started to cry.
I was informed that Dylan had been arrested and his trial assured he would spend the next seven years in prison. I asked the nurses if I could have the hoodie I had come in with. It was important. Keith had come to see me every day, and returned the afternoon after I woke up. We talked for hours and cried.
Ray had been taken to a rehabilitation center for his alcohol addiction after being hospitalized for a few days. I never saw him again.
After I was released, I didn't have anyone to sign the papers. Both my parents were dead to me, except Emeric.
So when I looked up Kameron's address online, I was driven to Brooklyn by Keith. We sat in the car outside the small apartment building, waiting for the dreadful moment when we had to say goodbye.
"Maybe I could come visit," Keith suggested.
"Maybe."
"Promise you'll stay in touch," he said.
"I'll try."
He helped me out of the car and at the door of the building, I told him I could keep going on my own. We quietly said our goodbyes, and I let him kiss me on the lips. Then he drove away, and I was alone.
I made it to the third floor and knocked on their door. Luckily, Kameron was the one to answer. He was shocked to see me standing there, all alone both physically and mentally.
"Oh, thank God," he mumbled before pulling me into a tight hug. Not being able to hold it in, I started to cry. "I got so scared, I didn't know where you were. Your house was just gone."
I didn't care about the damn house. I cared about Sammy and Mom and Dylan and all the memories I had lost. I cared that I had lost everything I had for me.
Kameron introduced me to Emeric. My dad. He had hazel eyes and my black hair. He was tall and skinny and wore black-rimmed glasses. No facial hair covered his face, and I saw the resemblance between him and Kameron immediately.
"You look just like your mother," Emeric said the moment Kameron introduced us.
I had tears running down my face from everything I had lost, but he put his arms around me anyways. I found extreme comfort in the feeling of safety his hold gave me. This was my father.
They gave me a room and clothes. I never finished my Junior year, and wasn't enrolled in school again. I didn't go visit Dylan, but I saw Keith almost every weekend. He became my boyfriend for two years, until we called it off.
You don't look at me the same, he said.
The same as who?
Dylan.
I remembered his shaking body that night on the tracks. The snow in my face and the humbleness that came with it. His warmth and his heart and everything that he brought to me. For years I hadn't thought of him in fear that I would go to that deep place of sadness again.
I was prescribed antidepressants and anxiety pills to get me through the dark days and the loud nights when I woke up shaking and crying. One night when I had a bad panic attack at four in the morning, I went to Kameron's room and let him hold me while I cried. He told me a story and stayed up all night with me.
I remembered Dylan's words.
You always make me want or need something.
It's always you, Dylan, always.
And that something is always you.
Hold my hand, Dylan. Never let go.
Never, never.
Alright.

Dylan

Brian told me that he had stopped being with Evan and the group. He told me everything that had happened that night with Lola, before she tried to kill herself. He also told me almost two months after the accident that Lola was alive. Someone from school had seen her in Brooklyn with Keith, and it had found its way around the school. I asked Brian if he could go because I needed some time to precess it all.
She wasn't dead.
I remembered the last time we spoke.
I remembered her smile and her kiss and her heart and her laugh and everything about her. Her skin against mine and her breath in my ear and how I wanted all of her but I knew it would never be enough.
Hold my hand. Never let go.
Never.

*~*~*
Author's Note:
We've almost made it to the end. I'm posting an epilogue either tonight or tomorrow. Also, I've made a Spotify playlist matching all of the songs posted at the beginning of every chapter. It's called "Alright Playlist" by evafossxx.
There will be a long author's note after I finish this book, so I'll save my tears for then:')
I've enjoyed reading all of your comments. I love you all.
~Eva