Floating (boyxboy)

Shifting tides -18-

"Cut it out," He muttered and I smiled.

When we were done eating I led him up to my room. "Say hello to the TV I took from Noel." He waved to the TV sitting on a stand across from my bed. He kicked off his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed while I searched the remote.

"Seb?"

"Mmhm?" There was the remote.

"What was it like for you coming out? And being in the closet before?" I stiffened automatically. That was not a time period I liked to think about.

I turned around and struggled to find the words I wanted to say. Cameron looked at me with huge eyes and I realized what this was about. I walked over and sat on the bed next to him. "Coming out is different for everyone. Being in the closet before hand was pretty awful, I did not feel very comfortable as who I was at the time. I tried dating girls, I thought maybe I would feel something for a girl like I should have. But I did not. When I let myself be myself I felt...like I was breaking a set of rules but," I looked down at my lap. "It felt natural, it did not feel forced the way that kissing girls after school did."

"What about coming out? How did your parents take it?" He said softly beside me. When I didn't say anything, he quickly added, "If this is too personal I'm sorry for asking."

I found my voice. "No, no. It's okay.I did not come out on my own. I got caught."

"Caught?"

I fiddled with the ring on my index finger, my eyes trained on the tiny inscription. "I was seeing a boy named Philippé at the time. His family had immigrated from Brazil. I used to come over when his father and mother were at work and we got very close. He was my first love." I paused and waited to see if he would say anything. When he didn't I continued. "One night we were together and his dad came home," I heard my voice crack. "He threw a vase at us and just started screaming. He began beating Philippé. He would not have stopped if I did not pull him off." I sighed. Cameron was very silent beside me and that made my stomach twist in a tight knot.

Then he reached into my lap and grabbed my hand. He gave it a small squeeze. "What happened then?" He said softly.

"Philippé's father got my address and came to my house and told my parents. They immediately threatened to call the police. In France, we value privacy very much and we place a heavy...weight on people's private lives. We don't believe in showing up to people's houses and accusing them of things true or not. It's rude." I said as I brushed my thumb accross the back of his hand. "Afterwards, my entire family talked about it for hours that night. My parents couldn't wrap their heads around it. They insisted for months that there was no way I could be gay. But they got over it and they know they have three other opportunities for grandchildren. My oldest sister is very happy about it. Victorié obviously doesn't care yet. No one really cares but Reené." I said.

"Then why are you so...bothered by it? That might sound insensitive but if the people closest to you don't care...?"

"Because now everyone knows. Philippé was never allowed to talk to me again, he moved after that school year. A couple of people tried to harass me about it, but it wasn't anything I could not handle. It bothers me more that I did not get to do it on my own terms. Now everyone has ideas about me because I'm a 'freak' and I'm different," I shook my head. "Don't feel like you should come out because you have to or because of me. You are not forced to." I laced his fingers between mine and squeezed.

He swallowed hard beside me and I turned to look at him. "I think I want to come out though." He said quietly. "To Dannie and Luke first. Then the rest of the group. And maybe publicly." His hand shook in mine but his voice was as steady as I'd ever heard it.

"Okay, mon lapin." I squeezed his warm hand. "If this is what you want."

He nodded absently. "And Sebastian? I do want to date, officially."

I felt a grin splitting my face. "I would like that, a lot."

He turned to me with a look of curiosity in his meadow green eyes. "What did you call me a minute ago?"

"Mon lapin. It means...my rabbit." He gave me a bemused look. "It's a term of endearment. Like mon amour, my love. I thought mon lapin fit you a little better though, you are always moving fast. And you are cute like a rabbit." His soft pink lips pulled into a smile and I couldn't help but kiss him.

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{Pov: Cameron}

"What do you mean you aren't sitting with us any more?" I said incredulously. "Who are you going to sit with? Cindy?" I gestured accross the room.

Dannie rolled her eyes. Today she was wearing her Led Zeppelin shirt, dark jeans, and vans. "Look, don't think of it as me abandoning you for another group. I won't even be in the lunch room." I glanced at Luke on my left. He was staring down intently at his phone. It looked like he had trippled the font size, and I could see the name Parker as the contact in oversized letters. He had been trying to catch Dannie's attention in ridiculous ways but she wasn't falling for it these days. She didn't even spare him a glance.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? I barely ever see you as it is," I felt my hand clench. Beside me Sebastian made a low noise in his throat. I glanced at him and his eyes were wide.

"A little gentler," He muttered in a strained tone. I quickly relalized I had just almost cut off his circulation under the table and muttered an apology. Dannie gave me a weird look.

"Why are you going off campus anyway?" Sebastian said to direct her attention else where.

"Well I'm seeing a guy from a different school. Sampson, long haired dude? He was at the last couple of parties." This time she did look at Luke and he didn't comment but he stiffened slightly. She ran a hand through her bright hair and smiled at me. "This doesn't mean I love you any less, I'll still see you sometimes during your free period and we can do stuff outside of school, kid." I gave her a tight smile.

I looked over at Avia. She had headphones in and she was a couple chairs down. The others were in the library. Maybe now I could tell Dannie and Luke about how everything had been lately. "I need to talk to you and Luke while you're here," I swallowed. Time to get out with it. "I'm g--" Before I could get the words out, Luke slammed down his tray sending carrots and peas flying. Without a word, he stomped his way out of the lunch room. "Dannie," I said helplessly as she spun on her heel and stormed off.

I looked up at Sebastian. He gave my hand a light squeeze and his eyes which looked almost totally blue today, were full of sympathy. "There is a time for everything." He said simply, and took a swig of water.

I nodded, but I bit my lip. I didn't know what it was, but something made me feel like the honeymoon period of this year was over.

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This chapter is a bit shorter than the recent ones but lots of longer ones to come. I feel kind of weird about this chapter so I'd be nice to know how you guys feel abt it, your comments make my day (:

-- Snickers ♡