God Is In Control

11

John's POV

Because it's hard to tell the person you love that you once had a child.

Because it's hard to tell the person you love that you once had a child.

Because it's hard to tell the person you love that you once had a child.

That rang in my mind for the longest time.
Oh my Goodness!

Liv, my wife had a child. Through rape. With the guy that took her away. And she had so much strength to keep it away from me.

I got up and walked to the room. I sat on the bed, our backs facing each other. I felt her move behind. "Are you not going to talk? You asked for it and so you got the news now you won't look at me. Is it going to be another silent treatment?" I could tell she was in tears through her sobs and the cracks in her voice.

"What happened to the baby?" I asked. I faced her and she hid her face away from me, out of shame. "I started to take college classes online because I had a bump starting to show and became tired easily. My hip wasn't wide or something along those lines was what the doctor said once I went for my ultrasound. He stated that my depression and stress affected the fetus."

"Did you want the baby?"

"I wasn't even sure at all. I still wanted to be free and do what young adults did. But then I was like it was a child growing inside of me. The baby's disappearance was what got to accept Christ so that is why I didn't grieve as much"

"So you don't have any medical conditions from the miscarriage?" I asked.

"No. I just feel nervous when you touch me. I know I shouldn't because you are like my husband and I am supposed to feel safe with you".

I lied down on the bed, snuggled close to her and wrapped my arm around her waist. I raised up the hem of her shirt. " Can I do this?" She nodded. I rubbed circles with my finger on her stomach. She flinched at first but got used to it.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate getting in arguments with you. It was hard being silent but it just felt needed in a sense. If you have anything else to tell me, you can let me know and don't ever think I won't marry you because you are not a virgin. We are destined to be together. I grew feelings for you once I saw your horrified expression at your car. And I still have feelings for you. Ones that I cannot describe myself. If you have any questions that you want to ask me, ask away".

I placed a kiss on her forehead.

" John, why do you make me cry? Award for the best letter to wife at the wedding goes to Jonathan Knight," I smiled at her comment. "And I will definitely be open with you. Do you have any questions on your mind?"

I sighed and thought if it was the best time to ask about what had been on my mind but decided anyway. "Do you want to become a mother?".

A long silence filled the air and I thought she felt awkward or nervous but she soon replied.

" With your child, yes". She faced me and gave me a long stare. I am guessing this was the first time I really looked into her brown eyes and admired the beauty of them. She leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the lips. "I wonder if our kids would have your eye color or mine" she stated out of nowhere.

I hummed. "Omg! John!" She suddenly yelled.

"Why did you just scream?"

"I saw my guardian angel and his name is Samuel".

" Is he hotter than me?"

"Oh my Gosh! Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"With your sudden yelling, anyone would think that you fell head over heels for him"

"I was at Hannah's and slept and he told me some things. But you know he told me that God is reading my requests and Hannah is in heaven but he didn't tell me if she will be coming back" she looked at the ceiling and sighed.

"Hey, look at me" She looked at me but she tried to blink back the tears. "Liv, God has everything in control. He will determine it all. Just believe"

Another long sigh was given in response. "John, I thought you weren't going to talk to me. I honestly believed that you would get angry at me and probably either not talk to me or make me pack away from the house," she gave another sigh. "Sometimes I wonder how you can be so calm and not retaliate back with anger. I get frustrated too much. Cry too easily. And with the miscarriage, Sammy got cancer and she didn't last long. God, I was so miserable".

She snuggled close into my chest and I felt my shirt get wet.

" Babe, you got saved. That should be a good outcome out of it. You met me, I treated you differently than the guy that raped you. We engaged ourselves in Christ and we got married. Yes our marriage is already on the wrong start, but it will get better. " I told her as she tried to sniff back her tears and running nose.

I don't think I had ever seen my wife cry this hard. Not even when we were courting. I prayed inwardly that God will strengthen her broken heart.

Hello guys. Honestly I hope that God will give me a future husband that is like John. He is soooo calm. Opposites attract. OK bye 😍😍😊.