Learning To Live

Chapter 18

"Don't apologize to me, you're the one that has to live with them." He whispered while stepping between my knees.

"True."

"But why would you want to mark your skin? It's so beautiful and smooth. And- and these lines littered everywhere take away from it." He was looking down at my legs and tracing old scars with his thumbs. I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or not.

"The same reason you do." He sat there for a moment and traced the marks.

"But it's different. You're so attractive and I'm..." he huffed and started moving his hands on my thighs again.

"You're?"

"Me." I sighed and slightly hooked my ankles around his back. Not hinting at anything sexual, just because it felt natural and it brought him closer.

"You're right. You are you. You're this adorable little Mexican boy that doesn't know his own worth."

"If there even is any." He mumbled under his breath and went to walk away but I tightened my legs around his waist.

"Excuse you." He looked at me like I was crazy. "How dare you talk about yourself that way. You get so mad at me but think it's okay to put yourself down?"

"Again, it's different."

"Then explain it." I put my arms on his shoulders and clasped my hands behind his neck.

"I already have." He seemed irritated with me but I didn't care much because I wasn't going to let him go until he quit insulting himself.

"No. You told me you're you. I don't see how that changes anything."

"It just does Kellin. Just drop it."

"No. I'm not going to let you talk bad about yourself."

"You don't really get a choice now please let me go." If he wanted to walk away he was going to have to pull me off the counter because I wasn't letting him go until he listened to me. I know the type of shit that i think and I don't want him to do that to himself.

"No."

"Kellin... Why won't you just leave it alone?" I sat closer to the edge of the counter and he put his hands on my hips out of reflex, ensuring I wouldn't fall.

"Because you don't ever say anything good about yourself and-"

"That's because there isn't anything to say!" He tensed up and curled his fingers into my shirt more.

"Really?" He nodded his head. "Look around, Vic! Hell, look in front of you." He looked up at me and he seemed confused. I tightened my legs briefly before relaxing them again. "I'm sitting here in your house with you between my legs. I'm letting you touch me without having a panic attack. The first time I came here I was terrified to sit on the fucking bed because I was scared you would see it as an invitation. Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, but that's your progress."

"No, thats you helping me and making me trust you."

"Not really."

"Really? I still can't go around Mike without freaking out."

"Did he do something?" He stood up straighter and I slipped my hand under the neckline of his shirt.

"No. He didn't do anything."

"Okay. Good." He relaxed again.

"See, that!"

"What?"

"You are so caring for other people that you just doubted your own brother. And i know for a fact that if he did do something he wouldn't make it out of the house. Your own brother. You protect the people you care about. Even when you were younger, in the stories you told me, you were protecting everyone."