Maxon's Mistake COMPLETED

Chapter 4

Warning self harm in this chapter

America's POV

Once the car arrived at the palace I cried. I couldn't take it anymore. After so long of forgetting who he was and who I wanted to be, I can't block that out now. Celeste gets tissue in understanding and I can't hold back anymore I have this urging feeling inside me and I know what I'm urging to do but I promised myself I wouldn't do it anymore. I get inside and go to the bathroom. Every time I stop cutting I can't ever get rid of the blade it's like I would kill to throw it away but I never can maybe that's why.

Almost every time I make a promise it goes down the drain and I end up cutting. I used to count how many days I go until I would break and fall apart again but eventually I couldn't count. The worst thing about it is I'll be fine and then something stupid will happen and I'll fight the urge to cut like I always do.

I end up cutting again after I stopped for 3 days.

1 cut I can breath again

2 cuts I see little dots forming I know it's blood

3 cuts I don't feel anything I just know it's slicing my skin softly

4 cuts it's going to get suspicious I move to my stomach

5 cuts I can't stop

6 cuts I can picture Maxon's face makes me cut deeper

7 cuts I saw a picture once of lines and on the bottom of it it asked what I saw and I knew they were so much more than lines they were cuts and scars

8 cuts I slowly can't feel once again for the 100 time I'm numb

9 cuts I'm loosing my strength then I..

10 just a number goodbye.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I see darkness. Is this the other side. I see my father.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Beeeeeeeeeeeeee

"You gotta fight you hear me I won't loose you like this."

"Charge to 300."

Beep beep beep beep beep beep

"Oh thank god."

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

3 days later

I open my eyes and I see darkness. Either I'm dead or its night. Someone turns on a light. It burns my eyes making them water my head hurts. I groan in pain and someone hands me water. I take it and slowly sip it.

"America you scared the shit out of me." Celeste says. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. And I know I did this to her.

"Why." She asked. Not even looking me straight in the eyes. She wouldn't understand. She would think I'm mental or stupid or depressed. She comes up and sits on my bed and looks me in the eye. Her tears filled but not falling.

"I can help you. Let's both be honest with each other. I'll help you stop you can trust me." She grabs my hand and I nod. Then the doctor walks in.

"You lady America are so lucky to be alive right now." The doctor says. Giving me pills then walks out.

"I cheated Celeste. When I was with Maxon he found out the day of the engagement ceremony. I loved him, but he chose Kriss." I say and she hugs me. I feel safe.

"Let's both stop. I'll stop caring too much about school and you come with me." She says acting like I understand.

"What do you mean?" I ask her and she sighs.

"You come to school with me. We can be roommates and all and we'll skip the wedding and we will go home and I'll enroll you. We can start over in life. America okay?" Celeste says and I nod I'm ready, I'm ready to be sober and not get high and stop cutting I need to start fresh. I nod.

"Okay."

????????????????????????

I know most of you expected her to at least to see Maxon again but that couldn't happen and I wanted you guys to understand how much she struggled through hurting herself instead of it sounding like it was the worst thing ever. It is and if anybody cuts talk to me I know what it's lien and I hate that drwning feeling.

The chapters go in order now, but I'm editing them now so be patent, and I'm adding details check out the first chapter to find out what I did