Ederra Van Allan

prologue

It was the 12. 06. --66, the day the Van Allan's were expecting a child, their first born. They were both waiting a baby boy, especially mr. Van Allan. For him a boy would be perfect; someone to inherit his business after hes gone, someone to work hard and have big opportunities coming his way, someone he could be proud of. A boy would keep the family name holy and clean, he was sure of it. 

His mind was set. It had to be a boy.

It was not only him but his wife agreed. One night a couple of weeks ago while they were laying in bed. None of them were asleep yet and the moon light shined through the curtains in the bedroom over her legs on the bed in hte middle of the room. He was just staring on the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take him over, but he couldn't, he was nervous. He was scared not being a good father to this child and that the child would come out to be everything but what he expected. While laying the and thinking he was blocking the world out, but that bubble was popped when he felt the delicate hand of his wife gently holding  his hand. He turned his head in slight confusion. She just gave him a small smile before directing his hand over the her stomach and let it rest there.

"It's a boy"

He closed his eyes before mumbling,

"How could you know?"

"I just know, I can feel it"

She pressed his hand a little more into her stomach and held it tightly for a couple of seconds before he felt a kick. He smiled, the proudness he felt for his little one without even meeting them was unbelievable. He kissed his wife in the forehead before drifting to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in months.

unfortunately, the idea of a boy was stuck in his mind the rest of the time. He thought about it as a boy, he pronounced it as a boy and made everything ready for a boy. After that one night he had convinced himself it was a boy. He even got to the stage where he was obsessed, obsessed over it being a boy. 

"AHHH" 

he snapped out of his thoughts when hearing his wife screaming from the other room, just waiting for it to be over. With every push and every scream they were getting closer, closer to getting a child, their child.

He was sitting in a chair outside the room, his leg tapping with his head in his hands, just waiting. He was sweating, even though he wasn't the one giving birth.

Everything became quiet.

He raised his head in confusion, he was sure she had died. The techniques and machines wasn't exactly safe or 100 % garanteed. 

A door opened and a doctors head came slowly out.

"You may come in Mr. Van Allan"

and went back inside, leaving the door sligthly open. He raised to his feet and went inside. The first thing he saw was his wife laying in the bed with her legs lightly spread, eyes closed wiht her head tilted to the side, not moving.

"Shes not dead" 

He turned to his side seeing the doctor writing down on a couple of papers on his desk.

"Shes passed out"

The doctor looked up a second to Mr. Van Allan's stern gaze.

"What from?"

"most likely stress and the pain, the body couldn't handle it so it went into a state of narcosis. She passed out a minute after seeing your child"

He paused a second before continuing.

"She should be awake any second now, the child is being cleaned up in the other room a bit. I'll give you some privacy"

The doctor stood up and walked out the room.

Mr. Van Allan looked over at his wife before sitting next to her on the bed and caressing her hand.

He was trapped in his own bubble again, thinking  about everything. What will happen? will everything be fine? will the child be as expected?

 "I'm sorry..."

It was so quiet that he almost didn't hear it. He looked down at his wife who was sitting up as properly she could, her gaze down. He couldn't see much of her face, just her mouth which was in a straight line. He noticed her voice was hoarse.

"what's an apology necessary for?"

She didn't say anything and he was about to before a nurse came inside the room holding his little one wrapped up in a blanket. She slowly made her way over to his wife before settling the child in her arms. The nurse made her way out and everything was quiet once again. The child was warpped in the blanket (imagine a taco) and the only thing you could really see was the face. You could see the chubby cheeks tinted pink and a little button nose, you could see a couple of black hairs on the head and the eyes were closed, leaving them a mystery.

"Can I hold him?" 

She just held the child for a couple of second before  beginning to open up the cocoon the child was wrapped in. She slowly lifted the blanket of the childs front, first revealing the chest, then the arms, then a round stomach, until the full front was revealed.

They just sat there, neither of them moving. He blinked a couple of times to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but this was no joke. This was a nightmare. Everything he was planning and hoping for came crashing down.

"I think you now realize my necessity to apologize..."

She trailed of without looking at him. She couldn't bear seeing the disappointment on his face, especially not in his eyes, they always screamed the loudest. He just sqeezed her hand before letting it go. He stood up, looking down at her.

"I need some air, I'll be back in a minute..."

He walked out with long steps, he was in a state of shock.

Why did this happen? 

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?

He head was in his arms and his hands krept up to his hair, messing it up. His hands started to pull at his hair as he screamed, trying to get out of the shock that had settled in his every bone. 

Why wasn't he praised with a boy? Everything he had wanted. He didn't ask for much in his life, but WHY couldn't he get this one thing?

He started to think; what is a daugther good for? He thought long ad hard until he remembered was his friend, Daniel, said; a daughter is good for sitting there and look pretty, and for sealing deals.

There must be a reason of why he was given a daugther.

He closed his eyes.

"If a daugther is to stay still and look pretty, then mine is going to be the prettiest of them all. I must have been given a daugther to make her perfect, and perfect she shall be"