Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 19

"Fucking perfect" you grumbled.

You didn't miss the chance to sneak a glance thought the window at Dean's house. His own window was shut closed and you frowned for a second, worried. You chewed on your lower lip, but shook your head.

Without a second look your turned and made your way downstairs to the door, where sure as hell Sam waited.

To say your breath didn't hitch on your throat would be a big lie.

"Hey!" his face lit up with a smile.

"H-Hi" you breathed out after a long, very long pause and you wanted to kick yourself right then and there for it.

Sam chuckled "I'm taking by the looks of it you remember what you said last night?"

"H-hey! Now, I think we agreed that even if I did remember you weren't going to say a single thing like a good friend you are!"

He tried to keep himself from laughing more (and clearly failed) "Sorry. I'll change the subject- So, I brought some cookies!" he showed you the bag, erupting into a feat of laughter as instead of smiling you glared at him.

"I hate you." you grumbled.

"Oh trust me I know." he laughed and you hit his shoulder playfully. You tried to keep a straight face and look mad at him but just as always his smile was contagious. So you couldn't help but crack one yourself.

"Whatever. Just come in moose or else I am gonna close the door in your face if you keep it up."

"Aw but I had a good one!" he said with a small pout and you glared at him.

"Just come in." you rolled your eyes and he chuckled.

"Did I wake you up?" you moved to the side to let him in.

"Uh no no I was awake, just refused to get up." you said with a soft smile.

You looked around as of a habit until you froze in your place. Your eyes locked with Dean's that was at that moment checking his mail. He was holding his mail in his hands but looking at you- obviously watching you and Sam the entire time. The smile immediately fluttered from your lips and you couldn't help but look at him with a sad look. Just like he was looking at you. The expression could be described as only heartbroken. His eyebrows were slightly raised in that innocent way, as if he was a child that could not understand what he had done wrong to have his toy taken from him. His eyes were slightly glistening and his jaw was clenched. Your heart began to ache with guilt for something you had really not done. Until-

Until you got angry. Not with him – oh you still loved him him so much to get angry at him – but with yourself. He was the one that had driven you away, he had no right to even question what you were doing with Sam, or any other man for that matter. He had made it clear he didn't want to have to do anything with you. What did he want now?

He had pushed you away, most importantly away from him and Mary, when he knew how you saw them as a family He had taken that family away from you, what did he want now? Couldn't he let you find the comfort you needed, even if it was in Sam?

Your look turned into a cold glare and you sharply turned around. Turning your back to him and getting inside your house, slamming your door shut. But it immediately fell as the pain got the best of you. You could only imagine his own pain. But you knew you hadn't.

"Uh so..." Sam looked at you with a small frown "I was thinking, do you want any help in making the breakfast or...?"

"Wha- uh sorry Sam I'm just a little-"

"It's ok" he smiled sympathetically "I wouldn't expect you to be over it all of a sudden. We all have problems. If you don't feel all that well you know you can-"