Remaining Daylight (#Wattys2016)

Track X.

"I can't believe you're going to miss your birthday," Hayden said while we were cooking hot dogs over the fire we had made. I was so thankful to be eating real food that we were cooking ourselves. A person can only stand so much Burger King and chips in a matter of days before needing something better.

"I don't think it's technically missing my birthday until I'm dead. I'm still going to have it. Still passing 'go' and collecting two hundred," I replied.

"Except for the fact that you don't get to be home with your friends and family, like birthdays are supposed to be," Hayden said.

"Were you home with your friends and family on your last birthday? Or were you out touring?"

"Touche."

My hot dog ended up burnt beyond belief. Hayden made fun of me the entire time I slathered it with ketchup and mustard, trying to choke it down. I felt like I was eating an ash tray. That was what I got for setting my wiener on fire.

We finished our fire and laid out our tarp, with the darkness settling in around us. I could see the moon overhead, shining silver. Our backpacks acted as pillows. The ground was hard and lumpy, but it was all we had. It was free. And that was the biggest priority with where we stayed.

"All right, so, riddle me this," Hayden said while we were staring up at the sky through the trees. The stars weren't shining as brightly as I'd hoped. The sky was almost a vacant black.

"Shoot," I replied.

"This guy you've barely met has lots of evidence against him saying he's a rapist, but you decide to leave without a trace to help him out. You're telling me that was entirely out of friendship and not even a little because you're a fan of my band?"

"Oh, it definitely had to do with the band." I chuckled a bit. "But, the friend part was in there, too. We'd exchanged numbers. I think we were friends enough. Plus," I turned over to look at him, "You gave my friend a sweet Datsun. That's going to earn points from anyone."

"It's not even mine. I'm wondering if Jarrod is going to try to take it back after Ryan fixes it up."

"If he does, Ryan and I will both kick his ass. He was getting rid of it. Gave it away. He lost all ownership."

"I wouldn't put it past him to try, though." Hayden shrugged his shoulders. "We'll worry about that when we get there."

Since the air was a bit colder that I wanted, I pulled out the jacket I'd packed and pulled it on. It was no blanket, sure, but it was something to cover my bare skin.

"I want to know more about dorky, teenage Hayden. Like, obviously you have this really cool rock star image now, but who were you when you were a little dweeb?" I asked.

Hayden sighed, laughing. "Well, isn't that a fun question? All right, let's think. I already told you about the emo phase, and the girl who hated me. I got bullied a lot, since I was so emo. Didn't have a lot of friends, besides the guys in the band and a few other randoms. Spent most of my time in marching band or playing my guitar in my bedroom. Earphones in all the time. I liked to pretend like I was cooler than I was, so I pushed myself into doing things that weren't necessarily a good idea."

"Such as?"

"Losing my virginity at fourteen so I didn't look like a loser. One night stand. I never even knew her name. It happened in a bathroom at a concert. I regret that a lot." Hayden stared at the sky, silent for a moment. "Like, I know that your first time doesn't have to be a big deal, and all that. Sex doesn't. Losing your virginity isn't some huge change in your life, like a lot of people think it is. But... I just... I wish that it had been different. That I hadn't pressured myself into that. I don't even know her name, and she has my first time."