Luciano

Chapter 3

Nightfall came around in what felt to be almost immediately. I continued to sit at the front of my house, leaning my back on the closed front door with my knees brought up to my chest.

The sun had just gone down and little rays of light were still peeking from behind the trees. There was evident wind that occasionally blew harshly making my hair fly wildly and feather across my face once it began to settle again.

I felt incredibly confused. Not right. Usually at this hour I'd be at the cemetery beside Luciano in complete silence indulged into my forever wavering thoughts. Or even muttering and creating light conversation along with the asking of sudden occurring questions.

I mentally and physically did not feel right sitting here without the company of Luciano's alluring gravestone right beside me.

Gripping my head with both hands, I rested my chin on my knees and stared at the pavement that led to the green grass smothered by various tall trees that was supposedly across what was meant to be a road.

The view was infact beautiful but I couldn't help but feel an immense amount of blankness exactly like the way I was currently gazing ahead.

I felt awfully stupid for spending what felt to be all twenty-four hours of each day, seated on the soil of a cemetery for a non existing person or even at least, their remains.

Perhaps if I had used my time differently, I could've found a meaning to my life. Maybe something that would enable me to feel and rid of the dead feeling I carried inside and questioned every single day.

As much as I tried to shrug off Luciano, I couldn't. I wasn't sad and the loss didn't evoke any sudden emotions from within me. It was more like it happened to quickly. I was positive nothing would last in this earth but the sudden disappearance of a self assembled friend was disappointing.

Not to mention Arnold. He was a regular acquaintance in which anyone else would categorize as a friend.

Another piece removed from my routine that I called life, leaving me suddenly lost.

But was that a bad thing? To me life was a pointless place where everything came into it with an expiration date. We're all sitting ducks in the spawn of a greater force, waiting to vanish at any second without a skip option to the end result.

I'd always- what'd be recognized as complain- to myself about the same path I'd follow everyday with the same emptiness.

Yet, here I've been presented with a different occurrence compared to every other day so really, is it a bad thing? Isn't this what I subconsciously was hoping for? Difference?

No. Not this. Because this did not change my firm views on life. The dullness I portrayed was not at all interrupted by the loss of two companies I had.

It made the isolation I felt deepen.

It made the prospect of death worse. Arnold's death is a perfect example. In his case, even worse.

He had nobody. No one knew him. Even if they did, it still wouldn't matter really.

Because once you're dead, you're irrelevant. The memory of your existence won't remain for much longer. Thus, Arnold's existence was only acknowledged by myself and the spirits of the cemetery. How long until I let go of the memory of him?

That'd be me someday. One could argue I'd meet someone, have a family, have meaning.

But how could that happen if the way I thought and felt was so consuming. Everyone else saw life differently, and to me, a lot of them were oblivious. No one would understand me and I was not willing to form a bond with someone that I'd be required to ignore my bothers.

Luciano however knew my bothers. If I had been at the cemetery by his side, all these thoughts would be praised aloud like every other time. Since he was dead, I didn't have to worry about him not understanding my thoughts.

Before I disappeared too deep into thought, I shook my head. Thoughts pausing, as I blew out a breath.

The white fogyish essence that escaped my mouth twirled and then vanished.

I rested my hands in my lap as I stretched my legs forward and tilted my head; sighing.

Maybe Arnold's death bothered me a lot more than my mind allowed me to feel.

Glancing down, I slid my hand into my pocket and pulled out Arnold's lighter. I patted down at my scarf to clearly examine the lighter that rested in my palm on my lap.

Was this really all that was left by Arnold?

The lighter wasn't anything special. It was circular and completely black with the silver metallic top wear the flame would appear. However along the side of the lighter it had the word Ignite with a little flame image printed beside it, the creaters probably trying to cover up the blandness of their design.

Changing positions once again, I leaned my back off of the front wooden door and sat crossed leg with the lighter brought up to eye level.

I used my thumb to push down and the lighter sparked- flame disappearing. I tried again and was greeted by a small blue flame that gradually flickered tall, the orange flame struggling to stay still as the slight wind made it waver.

I lowered my hand only slightly.

I then stared into the flame.

"To Arnold," I muttered oddly to myself.

"-thanks for whatever it is you did. I hope you rest in peace and know, I haven't forgotten you yet. Farewell."

I then went silent once more, allowing the flame to dance around for a few more moments.

I then lifted my thumb, the flame disappearing, and clutched it into my palm before sliding it back into my pocket.

Even if it was practically nothing, and we were all going to die so it didn't really matter, I guess even Arnold should've deserved something.

Feeling awkward, I bluntly glanced around and stood up from my position on the floor.

I turned around and grabbed the door hand, not having to even apply much pressure as the insecure piece of wood began to open with a screech, almost as if to be whining to not be disturbed.

At the exact same moment, the sound of soft rustling from among what I'd assume to be the trees from across the close distanced road was heard.

Naturally, I turned my head to look over my shoulder and struggled to point anything out from the darkness that surrounded the area.

Exactly a second later I felt goosebumps as my body involuntarily shuddered, the sensation immediately making my frown deepen at the sudden reaction.

It was as if my body was suddenly aware of a presence and I thought twice about further examining what I had heard.

However, surprisingly, I hadn't yet exactly reached a high level of paranoia despite the emptiness and isolation I felt.

Heavy liddedly, I slid through the door and closed it behind me and there it was, the end of yet again, another passing day.

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A/N

Hey fam let me know what you think so far!!

This chapters really an insight on Grace's mindset and the way she feels etc

Tell me what you think about her character!

ill try and update as soon as possible :)

-E