To whom it may concern.

Chapter Two:My First Time

I was sixteen. Young, naïve and "open minded". I was just back from boarding school. Instead of staying at the estate, I'd asked to be taken to the cottage. A not so small house in the countryside my mother acquired as an escape for the family away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

I'd been shipped away not long after mother was gone. At that stage I'd learnt how to mask the pain. I was living with a mask no one knew I had placed on myself. Only now looking back do I realise that was not me, but a girl who had nothing but pain in her heart.

It was a bright summer day. The sun was radiating enough heat to keep my skin sizzling permanently. It seemed a great day to spend outside but instead I had to attend to a family meeting. My father had called the day before and ordered us all home, no exceptions. Antonio and I were the only people on this side of town.

##################################The day in question##################################

"Kat! You better be up and ready! You know we have to be there at one p.m. I still want to stop somewhere so we have to leave in the next hour." hollered Antonio, acting as if he had no idea I was awake.

"Toni, we both know I've been up for hours. I'm not a lazy bum like you! If you'd prefer we could leave now, I've already eaten." I replied.

"Have you packed?" he asked with a stern look on his face.

"Why would I? I'll be back tonight. I don't plan to stay at the estate for longer than necessary." I replied rather directly.

"Well if we'll both be back tonight then there's no need for a driver. I'll just drive us. Be ready in twenty." He said heading out to probably take a smoke.

For as long as I can remember he's smoked. Cigars, cigarettes, weed he does it all. Unlike most people I don't find the habit disgusting. Instead I find it rather fascinating. At this stage, sixteen and independent, I smoke as well. Although being a great brother Toni disapproves.

Once all sorted we head into the car. We push the top down, turn the music up so high we can't even carry a conversation then immediately take off so fast we're already breaking the speed limit.

As soon as we get on to the road every head turns our way. I relish in the attention, as always. Before heading out of town we stop at a distant, far off, seemingly deserted parking lot. Toni stops the car in a way only a talented driver could control a car.

He swings his door open. Sets a boot on the crackling gravel, just like in a movie set. The dramatic scene doesn't stop there. He walks off to a relatively distant vehicle I didn't notice before.

Suddenly a guy slightly older than Toni steps out of a car. I can't hear over the music I'm no longer listening to. Toni pulls out what I am certain is a bag of marijuana. The guy gives him an envelope, most likely of cash. I lift my head to get a better view when suddenly I realise something.

I was asleep before we pulled up. Toni thinks I'm asleep. He has no idea I've witnessed his crime. He doesn't know I know he's a drug dealer. As his head turns to the side I make a split second decision. I turn my head down.

######################################Present day####################################

To this day he has no idea I was awake during that transaction. This was when I realised for the first time, that my picture perfect family has cracks in it. I want to keep the element of surprise here so I'll stop here. You should know this was a crucial part of my story. My first time seeing this side of my family.