Phan oneshot collection

Chestnut hair and deep brown eyes

But then he was gone. He disappeared and he never came back to tell me why. Well, I sort of guessed, but he never came back to explain. Not fully. That's why I don't speak anymore. I don't want my words to mess up anything else I have.

One day we were sitting outside on the little grass lawn they had outside and I was making him a daisy chain. He was making me giggle and I started to realise how pretty he was. He had chestnut hair and deep brown eyes. His skin was the perfect tan and he had this cute little dimple that only showed when he was truly happy. Just like now. He was beautiful, I didn't get how I hadn't seen it before. I was staring for a while and I think he must have noticed because he coughed awkwardly and made a joke to make me tune a little more into the real world. It worked of course but I never really saw his face the same was as I did before. Once the daisy chain was finished I turned it into a crown, and passed it to him.

I am absolutely certain he took it, he wore it the whole afternoon, and when I looked at the ground the next day it wasn't on the floor where it would have been if he was imaginary. I am so sure he was real. I think.

He has come out the sliding glass doors and is standing awkwardly, looking out, eyes scanning the people here. He can't see me. I am sitting in a low branch of a tree, thick green leaves covering me. Only my legs in their dark jeans can be seen.

I think that was the day I started to ruin things. I started to develop, I think, feelings towards him. It was pretty weird but he made me feel so happy I didn't think that mattered. It obviously did later on, but whilst he didn't know it was fine. The funny thing was I thought I caught him looking at me a little weirdly, a bit like how I used to at him, before he left. He was still his usual self but his eyes was slightly misted, a small confusion had swept like fog across them. I wonder if he felt the change I did. We got a little closer after that. Most of the time if I felt a little sad I would talk to him about it, late at night when we should have been sleeping. He shared my bed with me, just sleeping on the other side of it. They had given me a double especially for us to share, so I didn't kick up a fuss and maybe start a small riot which would spread to the other patients. He would listen to my troubles and I could never face him about them, getting shy and embarrassed. He would make them better for me and I would never stop thanking him after.

Sometimes if I was crying he would hug me in comfort and I would wake up with his arms still wrapped around me. He had always said it didn't mean anything when we woke up but he always looked uncertain. Quite often when I woke up I would be hugging him, and he never seemed to mind.

I felt him in my arms. Every single time. And he was real.

He finally decides to sit on the grass, and starts to pull up the little flowers speckled over it, linking them together into a long chain, threading stem after stem in the warm sun, the light shining across his chestnut hair.

It was about a week after the first few times we woke up entwined that he started to randomly go. We went to breakfast together and we sat together at lunch and at recreation we were just sitting and talking and that's where it went wrong. At the simplest of times I started to ruin it. He was helping me feel better about the weird looks I always got and just as the signal went to go back in for counselling I hugged him and told him how I was so lucky to have him as my own. It must have slipped out. I stood up and joined the crowd, thinking he was there beside me but when I looked round he wasn't. I tried to stop and push back the other way but I got pulled towards the counselling room. I guessed Dan would just meet me in there but I was scared. I had never had him not next to me before. I had started shivering slightly, on edge about what was going on. The carer of the session was asking people how they were and when she asked me it got bad.