Unbecoming Humans

Chapter 22

"Aria, you're trembling. What's wrong?" I pushed myself up so that we were face to face, with me sitting in her lap. I wasn't sure if I should tell her about my conversation with Blake or not.

"It's alright, you can tell me," Nima assured me. I trusted her, but I didn't want her to know what I was feeling for her and how much it scared me. The stubborn, rebellious part of me took over before I could stop it.

"It's Blake..." I paused to choose my next words.

"You're in love with him," Nima said, looking away to hide the disappointment on her face.

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous." I quickly corrected her. "He's worried about us."

"Because of Róisín?" Nima guessed. I nodded. "I see." She stayed silent, looking thoughtful. I was the first to breach the silence.

"I really like you, Nima," I told her hesitantly. "But, I don't want you getting hurt because of a silly crush." Nima looked at me severely.

"But you said we are safe," Nima argued.

"You know as well as anyone that I don't trust a word my mother says. I'm not willing to bet your life on part of a conversation that I overheard," I was becoming exasperated and losing my resolve. I wanted to run and hide.

"This isn't just about you, Aria. I already told you that I like you. And, I don't believe it's just a silly crush, but if that's the way you feel, fine, walk away." There was no malice or anger in Nima's voice. She was simply being pragmatic. It made it difficult to argue with her. I looked down and picked at my fingernails bashfully.

"I can't go through that again." My voice was barely audible.

"I know," Nima nodded. We were silent again. I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but in her lap. But, I didn't know how to move away without making things even more uncomfortable between us. So, I just sat there.

"I can't stop feeling this way for you," Nima said quietly, at last. I didn't respond and just kept picking at my fingernails. She sighed, then cleared her throat, so that her next words would come out loud and clear.

"What if I promised to do everything in my power to keep us alive?" I took some time to consider her words, and the possible implications if I agreed. She watched my deliberation patiently. There was no way she could guarantee our safety, but neither could we turn off our feelings. What it came down to was whether I wanted to live my life in this same, boring rut, or if I wanted to take a chance to make something more out of life.

"Aria, please," Nima implored. "How long can you pretend you don't have feelings before it drives you mad, and winds up killing you anyway? Or worse, you could wind up as your mother's puppet, ruling the world with Blake and your horde of perfect children." I shuddered at the thought.

"If I agree, I have one condition," I told her.

"Anything," she agreed a little too eagerly.

"I get to make the same promise," I said, looking her straight in the eye. She looked right back, as if she were searching deep into my soul.

"Deal." She offered her hand for a contractual shake. I laughed, but took it and used it to pull her into a long, hungering kiss. After what seemed like several minutes, I gently pushed at her shoulders to break from our passionate kissing.

"What about Ilya?" I asked. He was down at the end of the hallway, supposedly to keep us out of trouble. Nima waved me off.

"He's watching one of his weird, Russian movies. He probably wouldn't notice if we set off a bomb in here." I laughed at her bravado. "We should probably go to our rooms though," Nima conceded. "It's getting pretty late."

"Right." I nodded as I climbed out of her lap. I packed up the cello and turned off the piano. As I was about open the door, Nima grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Hey," she said, looking into my eyes seriously. "Together, right?" I gave her a warm smile and nodded.

"Completely," I told her, ushering her out into the hallway. I wasn't sure if that was the best answer, but it felt right. She followed me into the storage room and waited while I stowed the cello. Then, we walked together back towards our rooms. We stopped short, just outside of the doors that separated the residence hallway from the rest of the compound. We would have to bid each other goodnight out here, away from watchful eyes.

"Well, goodnight," I said awkwardly, not sure of what else was appropriate to say our do. Nima leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"Farewell, my queen," she said dramatically, before heading off to her room. I stood rooted where I was for a moment, smiling at my good fortune to have met someone like her. She was right, no matter what was to come, at least we could have this, right here and now.